Neville's Diary
by PercyJacksonTheAwesome
Summary: While Neville is deathly ill in the hospital, Luna goes to his house and finds his diary, which she reads and discovers his innermost secrets - including his love for her. And what will Luna do with Neville so close to death? Tragic N/L fluff
1. Chapter 1: The Diary

**A/N: Here's a new story from me, the popular Nevluna author (teehee). It was supposed to be a two-shot, but will end up as a four-shot since it's a lot longer than i orginally thought it to be. This story is actually pretty sad, and i just HAD to write it, and when i thought it through, i actually had to try hard not to cry. You guys can cry if you want, though. But it's only allowed during Chapter 4.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP**

Chapter 1: The Diary

Luna sat by his bedside, holding his hand and stroking it with her thumb. A single tear trickled down her cheek. She could only wonder what went wrong.

Her mind flashed back to the day it all happened.

It was the Battle of Hogwarts, and they both had been bravely fighting. Luna had helped Harry find a Horcrux. And she had done nothing but stand aside when Voldemort had supposedly killed Harry and asked for volunteers. But Neville had stepped forward and fought for all. A true Gryffindor, he pulled the Sword of Gryffindor out of the Sorting Hat. And later, he had saved the lives of Ron and Hermione and slayed Nagini, destroying the final Horcrux and allowing Harry to kill Voldemort.

He was a hero, Neville Longbottom.

He was the bravest person Luna knew.

But somehow, sometime during the Battle, Neville had managed to get a deep gash in his upper arm that Luna couldn't fix with magic. At first, Neville insisted he was fine. But then an infection spread, and soon it got so bad that Neville could barely stand, and Luna took him to St. Mungo's.

And that's where they were right now.

Neville had been in the hospital for almost a week now. Luna never left his side unless the nurse told her she had to leave. Luna didn't want to leave. Luna knew that if she wasn't there, Neville would start to lose hope. Because the nurse said Neville wasn't getting any better. In fact, he might've even gotten worse.

"Why did this have to happen, Neville? Why?" Luna said, that single tear making its way down to her nose.

"I dunno," Neville said weakly. "Some things happen for reasons we can't explain."

"I know, but why you, Neville?"

"I've always been unlucky."

But just then, the nurse came in. "I'm sorry, Miss Lovegood, it's time for you to go now."

The tear dwindling on her nose finally decided to drop. "I don't want to leave," Luna said.

"I know, dear," the nurse said. "But visiting hours are over. And Mr. Longbottom needs his rest."

Luna took a shaky breath. "Alright." She reluctantly got up, and then slowly slid her fingers out of Neville's as the nurse led her away.

Neville gave her a small smile. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." His voice cracked.

Luna nodded as more tears spilled out. The nurse led her out of the room.

Not wanting to say anything more to the nurse, she immediately apparated out of the hospital and into Neville's house. She knew she was always welcome there. Neville lived there alone these days, because his grandmother died right after the Battle. Neville had been upset, and so had Luna, and they both quickly got over it because Neville knew how to move on quickly, and because Luna had never liked Neville's grandmother much. She had never liked Luna, never since the day Neville introduced her. She always was not so nice to Luna and ridiculed her. Luna was secretly glad she was gone.

Luna wandered through the tidy little house not making a sound. Normally if she was in here, she'd just spend a few hours talking with Neville, her best friend. Some people might think they were more than that, but they were just friends.

Luna made her way up the stairs and wandered into Neville's bedroom. It was a bit neater than the average 18-year-old boy's bedroom. She knew Neville wouldn't mind, so she took the liberty of going through some of Neville's things. She enjoyed looking through things in her pastime.

As she was looking through the top shelf of his closet, she came across a small, leather-bound book. On the cover, it read _Neville Longbottom _in gold print. It appeared to be a diary.

Luna knew girls who had diaries, but never boys. She expected it was used just the same, though: the user's feelings poured throughout the pages. She expected the book to be very personal, and she knew she shouldn't read it. But this was her best friend. If she were deathly ill, she'd want her best friend to know all her secrets, too. So she made the decision.

She flipped open the page.


	2. Chapter 2: 1995 to 1996 School Year

**Disclaimer: I dont own HP**

Chapter 2: 1995-1996 School Year

She flipped to the first page as she sat down on the bed. The first entry was labeled DECEMBER 29, 1994. Neville must have started writing this before he met Luna.

Luna read the first entry.

_DECEMBER 29, 1994_

_I dunno why Gran got me a diary for Christmas this year. Boys don't keep diaries! It's a girl thing! Oh, whatever. At least it LOOKS a bit manly. Gran expects me to write me "feelings" in here, because according to her knowledge, I don't have any friends I can talk to. Not true! I have friends! Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Seamus, Dean...oh, who'm I kidding? They're not friends close enough for me to talk to. Like, ACTUALLY talk to. I wish there was someone that would understand what it's like to be Neville Longbottom. Someone who likes me for me, and doesn't like to make fun of me._

Luna smiled after reading the entry. She knew Neville had eventually found what he was looking for. She was his best friend, after all.

She read some more entries, most of which were short. There weren't many between the first entry and the end of the year.

_JULY 3, 1995  
><em>_Well, another year has come and gone. Except this time we ended on a darker note. Voldemort has returned. I'm scared, but I try not to think about it. Instead I think about my more personal, pitiful me problems that no one else cares about.  
><em>_I still really haven't gotten closer to any of my friends. Harry, Ron and Hermione all like to keep to themselves. I think Seamus and Dean think I'm simply a nuisance. And Ginny is nice to me sometimes, but she doesn't go out of her way to hang out with me. Sure, I took her to the Yule Ball this year, but I could tell she only said yes because she couldn't go otherwise. I could see her watching Harry almost the entire time. I know she fancies him. I don't fancy her, but sometimes I wish __someone__ would fancy me.  
><em>_So here I am in my room, Gran downstairs insisting I get a haircut. It's annoying, but I think I will. This long hair's starting to bother me. She's also annoyed I didn't make any new friends this year. I told her that this year just wasn't the year.  
><em>_Maybe next year will be._

_Poor Neville. All he wanted was a friend_, Luna thought. She flipped the page, hoping to get a glimpse of his fifteenth birthday. But she was slightly disappointed when it skipped to September first, when Neville returned to Hogwarts.

_SEPTEMBER 1, 1995  
><em>_Well, another year at Hogwarts has started. And unlike how I expected, this year actually started on a good note. Harry was all stressed, and Ron and Hermione were trying to calm him down. They were actually nicer to me than they were last year. Ginny was nowhere to be seen, but I didn't really care too much. You know why? Because I met someone new today.  
><em>_Harry, Ron, Hermione and I were waiting for a carriage, and when one came, Harry was admiring the thestrals pulling it. I could see them. I have been ever since I was very young. Harry's just only been able to see them, so it was pretty exciting for him. However, Ron and Hermione __couldn't__ see them, so they were trying to convince Harry that they weren't there.  
><em>_And that's when I first saw __her__. She was just sitting in the carriage, reading a magazine upside down. I was totally mesmerized by her. Still am. She has platinum blonde hair cascading down her shoulders to her waist, and silvery blue-gray eyes that never blink. When those eyes look at me, I feel like I'm frozen. The way she speaks is mesmerizing, too. It's as if she's off in a dreamland of her own, not caring what people think.  
><em>_She tried to reassure Harry that he wasn't mad, which didn't really help. We all piled into the carriage, me across from her, so I had a bit of excuse to stare at her without the others noticing too much. I think they noticed how nervous I was. I turned all pink and was fidgeting a lot.  
><em>_The girl was introduced as Luna. Luna Lovegood. What an interesting name. I've never heard one quite like it. I like it very much.  
><em>_Anyways, after Luna was introduced, we started to introduce ourselves, but she already knew Harry, Ron and Hermione's names. But she didn't know my name. Me, being my nervous self, said I was nobody. But then Hermione said I was being ridiculous and introduced me the proper way. Then Luna shook my hand, and when her skin met mine, a tingle went up my spine that I just can't explain.  
><em>_I was staring at her __way__ too much in the Great Hall at dinner. And when I went to bed, she was all that was in my thoughts. It's two in the morning right now, and I wrote this all down to sort out my thoughts, but I think it just made them cloudier. All I can think about is her. But I must be making a ruckus, 'cause I woke up Seamus and he's groaning at me to go to sleep. So I think I'll try. But I don't think I'm gonna get much sleep with Luna invading my thoughts all night long._

Luna hesitated before reading the next page. This was how Neville had thought of her? His words were so full of...love. But maybe that was how Neville thought of all his friends. Doubtful, Luna didn't ponder it much more as she flipped the page.

_SEPTEMBER 10, 1995  
><em>_I don't think I've been focusing enough on my schoolwork these days. Even my Herbology grades are slipping up a bit, which I promised myself would __never__ happen. Know why? Luna. Can't get her out of my mind! I try to think about something else, but she's always there. I tried going outside on the grounds to try to clear my head with some fresh air, but Luna passed by, skipping along, as if there were no better thing in the world. I was tempted to get up and join her, but I knew I had my reputation behind me, so I didn't. I really wanted to, though. It seems like everything she does gives off a happy aura, like everything will be alright. I wish that were so. These days, almost __nothing__ is alright. But Luna doesn't let that bother her. I love that about her.  
><em>_And guess what? It's two in the morning again. And I woke up Seamus again. And he yelled at me to go to sleep. It's a miracle he hasn't figured out what's going on yet. I'd __die__ if anyone knew I occasionally wrote in a diary. That's so embarrassing._

Luna found this one a bit strange, as well. Neville thought about her this way? She flipped the page.

_OCTOBER 26, 1995  
><em>_Luna and I are officially friends now. We hang out like it's no big deal, although people give us weird looks. I know that the two biggest outcasts at Hogwarts hanging out together looks a bit weird, but in reality, Luna's really cool. She's not loony, like most people think she is. She's just in her dreamworld a bunch, but at times she can be really down-to-earth and reliable. You can tell her anything, and she'll listen. She's really smart, too. She's helped me with schoolwork and also with remembering things. We get made fun of a lot, though. I think besides Harry, we're Draco Malfoy's main targets. He picks on us, calls me a loser and Luna Loony (which she hates; she just doesn't show it) and calls Luna my girlfriend. She's __not__ my girlfriend, although sometimes I wish I was. I __still__ turn red whenever she's near me, and sweat whenever she brushes her hand up against mine. I've never felt like this before, and even though it's awkward, it's wonderful. I just sort of wish we felt the same way.  
><em>_Uh-oh. I woke up Seamus __again__. And this time he actually came over here to yell at me. Thank __God__ I managed to stow away this bloody book in time._

She flipped the page once more.

_NOVEMBER 12, 1995  
><em>_I hate Umbridge. She won't let us practice magic. Thank goodness for the DA. Without it I'd be even more awful at magic than I already am. It's not just good to practice magic, but it's entertaining to watch Luna do magic. She doesn't do it like anybody else. She has a special wand flourish, and it always gives off a happy aura. Sometimes she ends up as my partner for practice. Those are the times when Luna helps me and gives me pointers when I'm not doing so well. I love having Luna as my partner. It distracts me from other things. And I love the DA. I think everyone there does. It's just wonderful._

Luna noticed that that entry didn't say anything about Seamus waking up. She moved on to the next one.

_DECEMBER 24, 1995  
><em>_Christmas Eve. DA meeting. Mistletoe __everywhere__. A lot of pressure tonight. I saw a __lot__ of people kissing under the mistletoe. After the DA meeting, Luna and I left the Room of Requirement, and somewhere in the hallway we stopped under some mistletoe. I'm sure my face turned a Christmas red as I stuttered out, "Er, uh, you know you're supposed to, uh, kiss the person you're, uh, under the, um, mistletoe..." I pointed up to the mistletoe above us. Luna looked up.  
><em>_"Nargles live in mistletoe, you know," she said, those silvery eyes turning to look straight into mine. My heart melted into my feet. How could I resist? I wanted to kiss her __so bad__. But being me, I had no courage.  
><em>_"Erm, they're not going to hurt us, are they?" I asked.  
><em>_Luna giggled. "No. Nargles don't hurt you."  
><em>_"Oh."  
><em>_I tried to pluck up some courage, but before I could, Luna kissed __me__ on the cheek. I was in a bit of a shock. Luna had just kissed me. On the cheek, yes, and under mistletoe influence, but still.  
><em>_"Merry Christmas, best friend," she said.  
><em>_Best friend, huh? So that's what she thought of me. "You too."  
><em>_The part of my cheek that she kissed still tingles slightly. I'm just laying in my bed; smiling. Seamus isn't complaining, either; something tells me by the smile on his face that he might've been snogging Lavender Brown under the mistletoe.  
><em>_I got Luna some of those purple quills from Hogsmeade for Christmas, along with that pearl necklace. I really hope she likes them. I'd be crushed if she didn't._

Luna remembered all this. She fingered the pearl necklace dangling from her neck right now. It was the same one Neville had given her all those years ago. She still wore it. She remembered on Christmas morning when she'd opened it, she'd squealed so much and hugged Neville so hard that he started to turn red. Although, now that she thought about it, it might just be embarrassment or nervousness.

Luna also remembered that Christmas Eve, as well. She and Neville had been walking through the hallway, and they'd stopped under the mistletoe. Neville had turned all red, and the only reason Luna had kissed his cheek was because he'd looked like he would've exploded under the pressure if she didn't. This put a whole new perspective on that night.

Luna flipped the page yet again.

_JUNE 18, 1996  
><em>_Today was quite a busy day for me. First of all, I was just wandering through the hallway when I saw Malfoy and some of his goons threatening Ginny and Luna, so I went over and tried to protect the both of them. However, they were on official Inquisitorial Squad business, so I was held hostage, too. Brought into Umbridge's office. Luna tried to stay close to me. When Harry and Hermione left with Umbridge, we did our best to try to outwit Crabbe and Goyle, which wasn't exactly challenging. We ran from the room, Luna by my side. We met up with Harry and Hermione and flew on the thestrals to the Ministry of Magic. Now, even though I can see thestrals, I've never flown on one before, so it was a bit of a challenge. Luna was by my side the entire time, giving me moral support. I think I really needed it. She's good at giving me moral support. When we arrived at the Ministry, we had a tight squeeze in the telephone booth, which was even more awkward for me since I was by far the tallest one there, and the most klutzy. But Luna was telling me that everything would be all right, so I relaxed a bit. Then we had to get in an elevator to get to the Department of Mysteries, and I stood right by Luna, my face heating up despite the seriousness of the moment.  
><em>_Then we made our way into a huge room filled with prophecies, and we followed Harry down an aisle, as he was searching for his Godfather. As Harry was getting upset, I noticed a prophecy on a shelf that had Harry's name on it. I told him, so he came over, and when he picked it up, I heard the prophecy.  
><em>_When it said the part about __as July dies__, my blood ran cold. My birthday is in the end of July, too, like Harry's, only a day earlier. We all know the prophecy is about Harry, but the scary part was that it could have been about me. If Voldemort had gone after __me__ when I was a baby, then __I'd__ be the one with the scar on my forehead, and be forced to kill Voldemort. I'm glad it's not me.  
><em>_Then that idiot Lucius Malfoy came and threatened us, and then came my mortal enemy, Bellatrix Lestrange. I hate her. She tortured my parents into insanity. The only reason I didn't attack her was because Harry held me back.  
><em>_Soon after, we were running through the room, and by a stroke of bad luck, I lost Luna. I tried to find her, but then I was confronted by a Death Eater, whom I petrified with a __petrificus totalus__ spell. And suddenly, I saw and heard Luna behind me, congratulating me on a good job. Then she took my hand and led me away, running down the hallway. I'm sure I was red-faced. __She was holding my hand__. I knew it was probably just the best way for her to get me to keep moving, but I still couldn't get over it. I was sad when she let go. Sure, we were both focused on finding the others, but still. We ran into them (literally ran into them) in an intersection. Then, down the hallway, a Death Eater was coming toward us, so Ginny hit it with a __reducto__ curse, which repelled the Death Eater, but it made all the prophecies from the shelves start to fall. We all panicked. We were stuck in our spots, except Luna, who started stepping forward, mesmerized by the falling prophecies. She would've been crushed by them if she'd stayed there. So I ran forward, grabbed her hand and pulled her along, and we all made a run for the door. I wanted to keep holding her hand, but I physically couldn't if I wanted to run.  
><em>_Through the door, there was a funny archway, where I could hear whispery voices like Harry and Luna could. Hermione, Ron and Ginny couldn't, though. Then Harry told us all to get behind him, which we did. I placed myself directly in front of Luna, as if to protect her. Then Death Eaters came in and snatched us and held us hostage so Harry would give Malfoy's father the prophecy. I was being held by that complete witch (I choose not to use worse words) Bellatrix Lestrange, yanking me by the hair. Harry was going to give Lucius the prophecy, so I yelled at him not to do it, only to be shushed by Bellatrix. Then the Order of the Phoenix arrived and brought us into safety, first Ginny, then Luna, then Hermione, then me, then Ron. They took us down below the rocks, where I stood right next to Luna, even putting an arm around her in a protective manner. I don't think she noticed, though. Later, we went out into the Ministry's main hallway and found Dumbledore and Harry, and soon I saw Voldemort. With my own eyes. I mean, sure, I believed Harry, but seeing him with my own eyes is a totally different thing.  
><em>_The Ministry workers, and the Minister himself, came back while Voldemort was still there, so now Fudge knows the truth and he'll stop being so stupid.  
><em>_I think something changed in me tonight after that big battle. I'm no longer as scared, shy, and stuttering as I used to be. I'm ready and willing to fight, if needed. But one thing that __hasn't__ changed is my crush on Luna. It hasn't gone away; it might have even gotten stronger, in fact.  
><em>_I've been up later than I normally am, and I've kept Seamus up for hours. He hasn't complained at all, though. I think he knows what I've been through tonight, and he's not going to bother me. He's just sitting in his bed, playing with his fingernails, not saying anything.  
><em>_I know this story's going to the papers tomorrow, and my name will most definitely be in it. I don't know what my Gran will say._

Luna took a minute to think about this entry. She remembered this day; it was one of the most clear days of her life. Although, she remembered it a bit differently than Neville apparently had, which, according to this entry, consisted mainly of Neville thinking about her and wanting to protect her. Luna remembered congratulating him and then pulling him away, and she remembered being mesmerized by the falling prophecies, and then Neville saving her life by pulling her away. She did NOT, however, recall Neville putting his arm around her shoulder while they were hiding behind the rocks.

But wait. Now that she thought about it, _really _thought about it, she did fuzzily recall maybe feeling the light pressure of something on her shoulder. And she faintly remembered looking and seeing it was a hand, and then following the arm and seeing it was attached to Neville. She hadn't really thought about it much at that moment. But now that she did think about it, all these things that Neville had written in this book that had taken place ever since Neville had met her, it sounded as if Neville had had a crush on her. And as Luna searched her own memory, remembered how Neville always got red-faced and fidgety when she was around, she realized that maybe it was true. Back then, she had thought that was just how Neville acted around all people, so she took it for granted.

Then Luna realized that that crush had probably gone away in the years to come. She turned the page.

_JULY 1, 1996  
><em>_Yup. The papers came out the day after the event. I got bombarded by people asking me questions. I knew they didn't really want me; they wanted Harry, but they probably couldn't get to him, so they went to me.  
><em>_These last few weeks have been a bit hard on me. Luna and I have gotten closer than ever. We spend almost every minute of our free time together. It's almost as if we're each other's lifelines; we're moral support. We keep each other going, I guess.  
><em>_Today we came home on the train. Another year gone. Probably one of the best and worst years of my life. Harry, Ron and Hermione took a compartment to themselves to discuss "private matters," and Ginny went to go sit with some of her friends from her year, so Luna and I were in a compartment by ourselves. I sat in a corner seat, sort of leaning against the wall, and Luna sat right next to me, like __right__ next to me, her leg pressed against mine, and her head leaning on my shoulder. I'm pretty sure she just wanted friendly comfort, but I enjoyed having her head on my shoulder.  
><em>_"What's gonna happen, Neville?" she asked me.  
><em>_"I dunno," I said. "But it'll turn out alright in the end."  
><em>_I noticed a single tear running down her cheek, so I wiped it away with a finger. She gave me a small smile.  
><em>_The most of the ride we sat in silence. I think she might've even fallen asleep. At one point, Seamus and Dean came by the compartment to try to find a seat, but they saw that I was in here with Luna leaning up against me, so they snickered and smiled and then left.  
><em>_We got to the train station, and Luna and I got off the train together. Thank goodness she wasn't leaning on me anymore, because Gran was waiting at the station with quite a skeptical look on her face. She didn't get a chance to interrogate me at the station, though, because Luna saw her father and said, "Oh, there's my dad. Goodbye, Neville. Write me this summer, alright?" Then she gave me a big goodbye hug, right in front of my Gran, which was a bit embarrassing, but I hugged her back nevertheless.  
><em>_"I will, I promise. Bye, Luna," I said.  
><em>_Luna left, waving goodbye as she walked away. I waved back.  
><em>_When Gran and I got back to our house, she sat me down for our yearly "end-of-school chat."  
><em>_"So Neville," she started. "How was school this year?"  
><em>_"Good," I said.  
><em>_"Did you make any new friends this year?" I could tell the look on her face said please let the answer be yes.  
><em>_"Yeah."  
><em>_Gran's whole face lit up. "Really, now? Who is it?"  
><em>_My face turned red. "Uh, her name's Luna Lovegood."  
><em>_Gran looked a bit skeptical. "Was that the girl you were with at the train station?"  
><em>_"Uh...yeah."  
><em>_"She's not your girlfriend, is she?"  
><em>_"Erm, no."  
><em>_Gran looked disappointed. "Oh, Neville, I was hoping so. When are you going to get a girlfriend? At this rate, you'll never get one."  
><em>_"Erm, that's wonderful, Gran."  
><em>_Gran could tell I didn't want to talk about this anymore. She sighed. "So, any other Hogwarts news? How many times did you wake up Seamus Finnegan this year?"  
><em>_"Only three times a week."  
><em>_"That's quite an improvement."  
><em>_"Yes, it is. Now, I'm going up to my room."  
><em>_I climbed the stairs to my room and flopped down on the bed. I thought about Luna again. Yes, we were good friends, and I had a crush on her, and Gran thought she should be my girlfriend, but I don't think she likes me like that. If she did, I'd be ecstatic. But I'm not sure it's gonna happen.  
><em>_And as I'm writing this tonight, I realized how much I miss all my Hogwarts friends. It's too quiet in here. I actually miss waking Seamus up at two in the morning and having him yell at me.  
><em>_I think I'll write to Luna tomorrow. It's gonna get lonely this summer._

Luna fought the sudden urge to cry. She remembered that day. She had been fighting the urge to cry that day as well. She had needed Neville for moral support, to keep herself going. It was heartbreaking to have to separate from him over the summer, but she wrote him letters. She remembered leaning up against Neville on the train, simply in a friendly matter. And she _hadn't_ been asleep when Seamus and Dean had stopped by. She'd seen them snicker. But she'd assumed they were just making fun of them. They hadn't been the nicest to Luna.

Luna was surprised that Neville's grandmother had actually wanted Luna to be Neville's girlfriend. Maybe she'd just wanted Neville to have a girlfriend in general, or maybe that was before she'd officially met Luna.

Luna looked up and realized that it was late, and she was still in Neville's room, reading his diary. She knew she was going to the hospital first thing tomorrow to be with Neville. But she needed to read the rest of this diary. She felt the need to know Neville's thoughts and feelings. So she made her way downstairs and sat down on the couch, flipping the page, continuing reading the life of Neville.

**A/N: Chapter 3 will be up soon! Please please r&r! i wanna know how i did!**


	3. Chapter 3: 1996 to 1997 School Year

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! It's a VERY long chapter, and I'm proud of it. I hope you enjoy. Please read and review. Keep in mind, there's only one more chapter left after this one! So enjoy while you can!**

Chapter 3: 1996-1997 School Year

Luna, sitting upright on the couch, started reading the next entry.

_JULY 16, 1996  
><em>_It's been two weeks since school ended. Two weeks? More? Ah, I can't even remember! See what no school does to my brain? Turns it to mush! I'm going crazy just sitting up in my room. I don't know how to apparate yet, and I used up all our Floo Powder just getting out of the house. So there's no way out. Gran's not really sure what to do with me. She doesn't want me in the house because she's planning something for my birthday, and she doesn't want me out of the house because she's still sort of protective of me. So here I am. In my room. Going crazy.  
><em>_I've written letters to everyone. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, even to Dean and Seamus. I've written multiple letters to Luna. Some of them have even replied. Hermione right away, Ginny replied for both her and Ron, Harry, and even Dean. Seamus hasn't, but I expect he will soon. Luna's replied to each one of my letters, each one thought out in great detail. I just love reading her curly script. It comforts me. Her words. Even on paper. It makes me think that even being locked in my room is okay. I've tried to make my letters be full of compassion or love or something, but it doesn't really work; I think they all just sound normal. Oh well. I'm not sure she cares. As long as she replies, it's fine with me.  
><em>_You know, if Gran wanted to get me the perfect birthday present, she would just let me have one day with Luna. All alone. Just me and Luna. For one day. Sounds nice._

Luna understood how Neville was feeling that day. Sometimes she felt like she was going crazy, too. In the beginning of that summer, only writing to Neville calmed her frazzled nerves. But her father would sometimes take her places, so she wasn't didn't feel THAT locked up.

Neville's one birthday wish was just to see her? Wow. He could wish for a million things, and he just wanted to see her? Luna didn't know how to feel about that.

_JULY 23, 1996  
><em>_Still in room. Going crazy. Birthday coming up soon. Gran planning something. Won't let me leave room. Resisting urge to twitch on floor.  
><em>_Need to see Luna. The letters, although wonderful, aren't enough. Need to see her. Want to kiss her, but know I can't. But just want to see her.  
><em>_Why won't Gran buy Floo Powder? I could go see her!_

Luna felt bad for Neville. Going crazy in his room. And all he wanted was to see her.

_JULY 30, 1996  
><em>_Today's my birthday. Did I get what I wanted? Eh, you could say so.  
><em>_So, I woke up this morning and went downstairs to find a small pile of presents waiting on the kitchen table. I was surprised. It's always been one. It's never been a *small pile.* I was excited.  
><em>_"Er, who are these from?" I said to Gran, pointing to the pile of presents.  
><em>_"From your friends," Gran said. "They came last night. You can open them after breakfast."  
><em>_So after breakfast, I opened all the gifts. Harry sent me a book on Herbology. Hermione sent me a kit to groom plants. Ron sent me a pair of socks (nice, but why, Ron?), Ginny sent me yet another Herbology book, Seamus and Dean sent me a quill, which I'm sure was charmed to write the name of your crush whenever you write anything. Very nice joke, Seamus and Dean. And Luna sent me a photo album which she had filled with pictures of me and my friends. One was a picture of Dumbledore's Army, one was a picture of me, Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean, one was of me, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Luna. There was one of Fred and George about to prank me and me oblivious, one of me attempting to stun Nigel in a DA meeting (it didn't work well), a school photo of all ten Gryffindors of my year, and a lot of pictures of just me and my friends. But my favorite picture, by far, was a photo of me and Luna, Luna with both her arms around me and her head on my shoulder, me trying to smile nicely, but ending up all red-faced. Since the photographs move, we both looked at each other a few times, me still red. Gran was curious about this book, but I wouldn't show it to her. I told her it was sort of personal, and she said she understood. I liked Luna's present the best by far. But I still had Gran's to go. I opened it up, and found it was that new plant I had wanted. But I found I wasn't as excited about it as I had expected. Maybe it was the photo album. It sort of ruined the excitement of the new plant.  
><em>_However, Gran said she would take me to Diagon Alley for lunch, which excited me. So I waited and waited for lunch, and it finally came. Turns out Gran did buy more Floo Powder, and we used that to get to Diagon Alley.  
><em>_When we were there, we had to walk down the alley to get there. But, as we were walking, I saw a familiar face up ahead walking the opposite way. A face I knew very well.  
><em>_"Luna!"  
><em>_"Neville!"  
><em>_I ran ahead to meet her, and she did the same. I met her with a big hug, almost lifting her off her feet. It was a long time before I let go.  
><em>_"Luna. How are you? I've missed you so much. It seems like forever since I saw you last," I said.  
><em>_"Fine, thank you. And I've missed you, too. It's only been about a month since we saw each other last," Luna said. "Oh, and Happy Birthday. How old are you now? Sixteen?"  
><em>_"Yeah, sixteen," I said. "And thanks."  
><em>_"Did you get my gift?"  
><em>_"Yes. And I loved it. Honestly, I loved it. Don't tell my Gran this, but I liked it better than her present."  
><em>_Luna giggled. "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me."  
><em>_Just then, a man walked up behind Luna. "Luna, dear, what are you doing talking to this boy? I told you that we had very important business to take care of today as soon as possible."  
><em>_"But daddy, this isn't just some random boy, it's Nev-"  
><em>_"Yes, the Longbottom boy who you won't stop writing letters to," Luna's father said hurriedly. "I swear he's your boyfriend although you insist it's not so. Come, Luna. We have business."  
><em>_"Dad, just a few more minutes? It's Neville's birthday and -"  
><em>_"No. Come."  
><em>_So Luna regrettably followed her father, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before she sadly left. I'm sure I was red by the time Gran finally showed up.  
><em>_"Not your girlfriend, eh?" Then she noticed the hurt look on my face. "Neville, what's wrong?"  
><em>_"All I wanted for my birthday was to see Luna," I said sadly. "To spend an entire day, just me and her. And then I finally got to see her, and her stupid father dragged her away."  
><em>_"Neville, I know what it's like to feel love's first pulls," Gran said. "I felt like this once. Torn away. But remember: longing makes the heart grow fonder."  
><em>_Yeah. Like that's true.  
><em>_But today was the day that I learned to hate Luna's dad. I think I'll forever have a grudge on him.  
><em>_The only thing keeping me going today is looking at that picture of me and Luna. Right now it's the key to my sanity._

This entry made Luna sad. She remembered that day, too. She remembered wanting to go and see Neville on his birthday, to surprise him, but her father had said that he needed to go into Diagon Alley to get something for his research, and that he needed Luna to go with him. She'd been disappointed, but gone with him anyway. She'd been ecstatic when she'd seen him in Diagon Alley even for a minute, just to wish him a Happy Birthday. She'd been delighted that he'd loved her present. All those pictures had just been lying around, so she may as well have put them to good use. She'd had two copies of the one of her and Neville - one was put in the album, and one was sitting in a frame by Luna's bed. She remembered the day it was taken. Colin Creevey had took it - actually, he'd taken all the pictures in the album - and he'd said that the first position they'd been in for the picture had been too formal, and he'd wanted them to be more relaxed, like friends would be, so Luna had wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder, which had made him turn red. Then Colin had taken the picture. It was a bit embarrassing, since it was taken right after a DA meeting, and all the other DA members were there watching. Colin had taken pictures of all the people there, various groups of friends, pairs, houses. Then Colin had requested Neville and Luna get a picture together.

"Neville, Luna, come here. We need you two to have your own picture," Colin had said. Neville had turned red, and someone in the back had wolf-whistled. Luna had a bet on Seamus. Luna had gone over to Neville, pulled him by the hand and got him in front of the camera. After the picture was taken, someone in the crowd had yelled, "Give us a kiss!" It was followed by some cheers, along with some shouts, like, "C'mon, Neville, kiss her!"

Eventually Colin had told everyone else to calm down and Neville and Luna had got out from in front of the camera. It had been a happy day, that day.

Why had her father taken her away from Neville on his birthday that day? He could have at least let her have a few minutes with Neville. It would have made the both of them happy. That was the day Luna had started to not trust her father as much. He had become less and less trustworthy since Voldemort had returned.

Luna remembered giving Neville a kiss on the cheek before she had left. It was supposed to be just a friendly goodbye, but apparently Neville had taken it as more than that. One thing was for sure. Neville's crush on her didn't seem to be dwindling at this time. When did it go away? Sometime in sixth year? Seventh year? Luna kept reading.

_SEPTEMBER 1, 1996  
><em>_After that disappointing birthday, I voluntarily locked myself in my room for the rest of the summer. I sent Harry a birthday present, and wrote Luna, but other than that, along with Hogwarts shopping where I saw no one, I didn't do anything else that summer. I never did get a reply from Seamus, either.  
><em>_Gran took me to the train station, and it was the first time this summer since my birthday that I felt truly excited. I would finally be able to see all my friends again. I'd be back at Hogwarts soon.  
><em>_On the train, I ran into both Ginny and Luna. Ecstatic, I immediately gave Luna a hug, which she greatly returned. I didn't let go. I didn't want to. Not now, not ever. Luna was just too wonderful to let go.  
><em>_"Uh, hello? I exist too, lovebirds!" Ginny exclaimed. Embarrassed, I reluctantly let go, red faced.  
><em>_"We're not lovebirds," I said.  
><em>_"Really? Sure looks like it," Ginny said.  
><em>_"Come now, Ginny, be reasonable," Luna said. "Neville's been lonely this summer, and he's just happy to see us."  
><em>_"Really, now?" Ginny said, raising an eyebrow. "Then where's my long, passionate 'hello' hug?"  
><em>_Grinning and playing along, I squeezed Ginny into a hug, lifting her off her feet and spinning her. She laughed. I let her down.  
><em>_"That satisfy you?" I asked.  
><em>_Ginny nodded. Then, whispering into my ear, she said, "Just so you know, I know you have a big crush on Luna, and I fully approve. So I forgive you for what just happened here."  
><em>_My face turned red, and Ginny went off to hang with some of her other friends. Oh, and did I mention she's dating Dean now? I find that I little weird, but I don't care that much.  
><em>_Luna and I walked along the carriages of the train, trying to find a seat. By a stroke of luck, we ran into Harry. I didn't hug him, since I guys don't really give each other hugs. We did, however, sit in a compartment with him. I sat with Luna right up against me, and Harry across from the both of us. I could tell from the looks he was giving us that he thought we were real cute. Red face again.  
><em>_Soon Romilda Vane came in our compartment and made fun of Luna and me, and later I had to leave Luna and go with Harry to Professor Slughorn's compartment. I didn't like it much in there. I wanted to catch up with Luna a bit.  
><em>_Soon we were at Hogwarts, and I really wished Luna could've sat at the Gryffindor table with us. I kept on staring at her from across the room, and I'm pretty sure all my Gryffindor friends noticed. Harry and Ron kept giving me weird looks, Hermione and Ginny were silently giggling, Seamus kept elbowing me in the stomach (which hurt), and Nigel even asked me, "Do you have a crush on Luna Lovegood?" I didn't answer that. He's a young kid. He doesn't have crushes on girls yet.  
><em>_In the common room later, most kids of my year were looking at me and whispering or giggling. In my dormitory, Ron fell asleep immediately, so I couldn't take any torture from him, but the others were all awake. Dean was quietly singing, "Neville and Luna sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G..." and Seamus was saying, "I wonder how many times Neville snogged Luna between now and the train..." and Harry was not making fun of me. Instead he was saying, "Neville, if you like Luna so much, you really should ask her out, you know. Pluck up some courage! You already act like a couple, may as well become one officially."  
><em>_Eventually they all fell asleep. Seamus, then Dean, then Harry. But I myself, couldn't fall asleep. So, just like the old days, I took some time to write this down.  
><em>_And, again like the old days, I woke up Seamus at two in the morning. He wasn't real suspicious this time. He was just like, "What're you doing up? Daydreaming about Luna, I suppose? Do it while you sleep, please. Stop wakin' me up." He fell asleep again immediately. You know, one of these days he will find out about this book. You just wait and see._

Luna remembered that day. She had been happy to see Neville and the rest of her friends. She had been curious why Neville had given her a longer hug than he did Ginny. But now it was explained.

So at this point, Neville's crush on her still hadn't gone away? When would it? It would have to go away at some point. She knew Neville still didn't have a crush on her now.

_NOVEMBER 2, 1996  
><em>_Stupid Slug Club. I went to one stupid meeting and then Slughorn kicked me out. What a joke. I don't want anything to do with that anymore.  
><em>_I sat with Luna on the grounds today and told her how mad I was. She told me just to let it go and move on. Her voice will sway me to do anything, so that's just what I did.  
><em>_Every single person who passed us today kept on giving me weird looks and whispering and giggling. I don't think Luna noticed a thing. There's nothing wrong with sitting and talking with your best friend! What's wrong with you people?  
><em>_Later that night, we were all in bed, and I was pretending to be asleep. Harry, Ron, and Seamus were all awake, and were talking about me.  
><em>_"You know, Neville really needs to ask Luna out," Harry said.  
><em>_"I know, mate," Ron said. "But that boy has no courage. It's never gonna happen."  
><em>_"The two already act like a couple," Seamus said a bit groggily, presumably falling asleep. "He should just get on with it already!"  
><em>_"I know, Seamus," Harry said. "But keep in mind that this is Neville. The boy with no courage. He probably doesn't even know how to ask her if she wants a biscuit at breakfast."  
><em>_"But he really should just go for it," Seamus said. "I'm tired of watching them just be friends. I don't understand why he just won't ask her out. I mean, she likes him too, doesn't she?"  
><em>_"If I'm judging on sight, Seamus, then yes," Harry said. "But honestly, I can't be too sure. Some people hide their true feelings really well."  
><em>_At this point Ron was asleep. "When d'you think Neville will end up snogging Luna?" Seamus said sleepily.  
><em>_"I don't think Neville will ever end up snogging Luna Lovegood," Harry replied.  
><em>_They all eventually went to sleep. But me, unable to fall asleep, wrote this down. But doing that, I woke up Seamus, who just shot me an angry look, said "Go to sleep, mate," and then went back to sleep. I think he was pitying me for not being able to ask Luna out.  
><em>_Sigh. I couldn't agree more._

Luna thought this entry was rather unusual. All Neville's friends wanted him to ask her out? How strange. She guessed it sort of made sense. But the question was, would she have said yes if he did? After about five full minutes of contemplating she decided yes, she would have.

And all Neville's friends thought Luna had a crush on Neville, as well? How preposterous! Sure, he was her best friend, and she liked him very much as a friend, she didn't like him like that. She didn't fancy him, not even back then.

_DECEMBER 20, 1996  
><em>_Tonight was Slughorn's Christmas party, where I was forced to serve as a waiter. Oh well. At least I got to go. There I saw Harry, whose date was Luna. At first I felt a pang of jealousy, but then I realized that Harry probably only went with Luna because he couldn't get anyone else to be his date. Besides, Harry didn't like Luna like that. He knew that I had a crush on her, and he wouldn't do that to me.  
><em>_"Hi Harry," I said. "Drink?"  
><em>_"Oh, hello Neville," Harry said. "No thanks, I'm good."  
><em>_"Alright then. Enjoying the party?"  
><em>_"It's going fine," Harry said. He lowered his voice. "And don't worry; I'm not stealing Luna away from you. I just needed a date."  
><em>_My face turned red. "Okay, uh, thanks. I understand."  
><em>_Then Harry left to go find Hermione or something, and Luna came over to me. Wow, she looked pretty in that dress. I wished Colin Creevey were there to take a photo of her in that dress.  
><em>_Just then, there was a flash of bright light. The photographer had just taken a photo of me and Luna (it wasn't Colin). God, that was embarrassing. Luna in a beautiful dress and me in a busboy uniform. Yeah, that'll be a keeper. I should add it to my photo album. Not.  
><em>_I talked to Luna for the rest of the party. We didn't know where Harry went, but Luna didn't seem to care. In fact, I think she preferred talking to me. We left the party together, and yet again, like last year, we stopped under some mistletoe. No one was around. I coulda snogged her, like everyone wanted me to, and no one would have to know.  
><em>_"Guess where we are again," I said, pointing up. She looked above us.  
><em>_"Mistletoe."  
><em>_"Just like last year, huh?" I said. "And y-you do know what happens under the mistletoe, right?"  
><em>_"I'm not kissing you, Neville," Luna said, my hopes fading. "We're just friends. It doesn't feel right. Despite the pressure of mistletoe, you'll just have to settle for this."  
><em>_Then she stood on tiptoes and kissed my cheek, quite close to my lips, but not directly on my lips. It sent a chill down my spine, but I still was hoping for more. I dropped off Luna at the Ravenclaw tower, and, finding a spurt of bravery that came from I don't know where, took her hand and and kissed it.  
><em>_"Merry Christmas, Miss Lovegood."  
><em>_Smiling, she said, "You too, Mister Longbottom." Then she stepped into the Ravenclaw tower.  
><em>_Red-faced and proud, I made my way over to my dormitory, where I saw that everyone else was already asleep, so I silently got ready for bed. Unable to sleep, I wrote this. But, once again, I woke up Seamus. He roused and looked over at me, so I quickly stowed the book under my pillow.  
><em>_"Hey. What're you doin' up? When'd you get back?" Seamus asked.  
><em>_"Er, not that long ago," I said.  
><em>_"What were you doing? Snogging Luna under the mistletoe?" Seamus teased.  
><em>_My face turned red. "Er, no. Who were you snogging under the mistletoe? Lavender Brown?"  
><em>_Now it was Seamus's turn to go red. "Lavender gained a sudden interest in Ron. So not her. Although, and I'm pretty sure this was a dare, I suddenly found Susan Bones with me under the mistletoe so I had to kiss her. No snogging, though. I'm not interested in her."  
><em>_"I see."  
><em>_"Go to sleep, mate. By the way, what exactly was that book you just had?"  
><em>_I panicked for a minute. Had Seamus seen it was a diary? "Uh, Herbology book."  
><em>_"Okay, got it. Goodnight."  
><em>_If Seamus ever found out what this book actually was, well, then, goodbye, life._

Luna remembered that day. Harry had been nowhere to be seen at Slughorn's party, so she had spent most of her time talking to Neville. He was indeed a charming fellow. And the mistletoe incident...why was it always mistletoe? She hadn't particularly _wanted_ to kiss Neville...had she? They were just friends. Neville had looked like he had really wanted to kiss her, so she had taken pity on him and kissed his cheek. Those few times when she'd kissed his cheek he'd always gotten bright red and looked happy, as if he'd gotten lost in a world where all your dreams come true. She'd always loved that look on his face.

And the events that took place in the dormitory always amused Luna. She found it funny that in almost every entry, Neville managed to wake up Seamus. It was like a running gag or something.

But what interested her most was the events that Luna had witnessed herself that sounded so different in Neville's eyes. They always sounded like Neville was focusing on nothing but Luna, and when he was talking about her, his words were always so full of...love. Neville might've thought that his words were bland, but they represented nothing but love.

Refusing to acknowledge anything else, Luna moved on to the next entry.

_MARCH 15, 1997  
><em>_Christmas and New Years have come and gone. All the snow's melted, and all any of my housemates have to say to me is that I should ask Luna out. I wish I could, except I don't have the courage, and I'm not even entirely sure she'd say yes. Sure, she's my best friend, but a date? What would she say if she knew I had a huge crush on her? Would it ruin our friendship? God, I hope not. I think it'd just be better if she doesn't know.  
><em>_Today was a Hogsmeade day. I went into Hogsmeade alone, but I saw a lot of people there. I ran into Luna in the streets.  
><em>_"Hey, Luna," I said. "Doing good?"  
><em>_"Just fine, Neville," Luna said. "Quite a nice day today."  
><em>_"Yeah, it is," I said. "Fancy a trip to The Three Broomsticks, Luna?"  
><em>_"Oh, that'd be quite nice, Neville."  
><em>_As we walked to the shop in question, my heart rate sped up seven hundred percent. That was practically asking her out on a date. Well, not a date, but almost. And she'd said yes. I knew she would, but I'd had that moment of doubt; that moment every guy has when he fears rejection. I'd been ecstatic, overflowing with joy when she'd said yes. I tried not to let it show on my face too much. I'm not exactly sure I want her to know that I've got a huge crush on her.  
><em>_We took a seat in The Three Broomsticks. I saw a few familiar faces in there, but not any that would make fun of me and Luna. We ordered a couple of butterbeers and just chatted a bit. All was going well until Draco Malfoy came in.  
><em>_At first, he probably just came in for a drink. I whispered to Luna not to look at him, and he might not see us and leave us alone. However, then he made a slight turn, as if taking in his surroundings, and he spotted us. A sneer crossed his face, and he made a beeline for our table. He placed his palms down on our table.  
><em>_"Well well well. If it isn't Loser Longbottom and Loony Lovegood. Whatcha doin' in here? Did you finally get the guts to ask her out, Longbottom? It's about time, don't you think? Even so, you both make me sick," Draco said.  
><em>_My face turned red, despite it being torment by Malfoy. "Go away, Malfoy. And we're not on a date."  
><em>_"Not on a date, eh? Then how come it's just the two of you?"  
><em>_"Erm, we're waiting for someone else."  
><em>_"Who is it, then?"  
><em>_"Um..." I thought fast, thinking of something. Then I saw Hermione enter. "Hermione! We've been waiting for you!" I got up and went over to Hermione. "Go along with it," I whispered to her under my breath. Louder, I said. "We were worried that you weren't coming, Hermione. And Malfoy here was about to take your seat."  
><em>_Malfoy looked disgusted. "Me? Sit with you two losers and a filthy little mudblood? I've never heard anything more preposterous." He left the shop.  
><em>_"Thanks, Hermione," I said, sitting back down.  
><em>_"No problem, Neville," she said. "But what was that about?"  
><em>_"Uh...it's a long story," I said. "I'll tell you later."  
><em>_Hermione saw the look on my face (mainly how red it was), and then looked at Luna, sitting across the table. She smiled.  
><em>_"Alright, then," she said. "Talk to you later, Neville."  
><em>_Later that evening, I couldn't sleep, so I wandered about the castle. By chance, I ran right into Luna. She suggested we go sit outside in the moonlight, so that's what we did. It really was beautiful. Luna's named after the moon, you know. And it suits her, too.  
><em>_Luna sighed. "I just love the night sky."  
><em>_"Yeah. Me too," I said. I looked over at Luna, and I realized that if I had the guts, right now would be the perfect time to kiss her. Alone, under the moonlight. It would be almost magical.  
><em>_But of course, I didn't. We just sat in silence until it was time to go. We parted ways and I went back up to bed.  
><em>_Do you know what's a miracle? While writing this, I did not wake up Seamus, not even once. So either he's dead, or I'm insanely quiet. And since I can hear him snoring, I'll assume the latter._

Luna thought about this one. Neville wanted to consider that day a date? She didn't want to. It was a friendly outing. But then again, according to this, he still had a huge crush on her at that time.

And he had wanted to kiss her when they were watching the moon, too? Obviously Neville saw things in a different way than Luna did.

_JUNE 30,1997  
><em>_Our Headmaster died today. There was a big ruckus somewhere else in the castle, so I went with the masses to see what it was.  
><em>_And there it was. Dumbledore. Lying in the middle of the courtyard. Dead.  
><em>_Luna had somehow found her way next to me, and I saw that she was shedding tears just like everyone else. I put an arm around her, and she buried my face in my chest, most likely soaking my shirt. For once, I was too upset to even care.  
><em>_This is a ridiculously short entry, but I still managed to wake up Seamus. He didn't care, though. He's too distraught._

Luna was glad to hear that Neville had also been too sad about Dumbledore's death to care about much else, as well.

_JULY 1, 1997  
><em>_Today was Dumbledore's funeral. We all went. All of us. You could hear multiple people sobbing. It was obviously the time to let it all out.  
><em>_Luna was sitting next to me. Right up against me, leaning her head on my shoulder. I was attempting to be strong for myself and for her. Luna was weeping (I could feel the tears soaking into my shoulders), but she was silent. I wondered if she was trying to be strong, too.  
><em>_After the funeral was over, it was time for bed, so I walked with Luna to the Ravenclaw tower, since I'm not even sure she'd be able to stand upright without my help. I took her hands in mine, told her everything was okay, and that we needed to be strong, kissed her hand, then went to my own tower._

Luna remembered that day. She'd fought the urge to sob uncontrollably onto poor Neville. He'd been stronger than she was. She'd needed him that day. He comforted her.

_JULY 2, 1997  
><em>_Back on the train to home. Luna still leaning on me for life support. We managed to get our own compartment. At first, things were okay, but eventually Luna had a breakdown. She started uncontrollably sobbing, using my shirt as some sort of tissue, which I let her use.  
><em>_"Ssh, it's okay, let it out," I said, rubbing her back.  
><em>_"No, it's not okay. Dumbledore's dead. Gone. He won't come back. We have no protection," Luna said between sobs.  
><em>_"Luna, we'll fight our way through this, I promise you. We'll be strong, even if we don't have Dumbledore," I said.  
><em>_After a few more minutes of sobbing, Luna stopped and then looked at me, her eyes pink and puffy.  
><em>_"You're right, Neville. We can do this. I'll be strong, like you."  
><em>_That comment made my stomach do a backflip and my face turn hot. I knew I was no braver than she was. She was probably braver than me, even. But at the moment she needed comforting, so I accepted the compliment and continued to soothe her.  
><em>_Soon enough, she fell asleep lying up against me, with her head on my shoulder, and both her arms clutching my right lower arm and hand, and her legs up on the seat, tucked up under her.  
><em>_Then I heard a knock on the compartment door. I looked up to see Seamus and Dean standing there. I put a finger over my lips to tell them to be quiet. They slowly and silently slid the door open, came into the compartment, slid the door closed, then took their seats across from me.  
><em>_"Why are you here?" I whispered to them.  
><em>_"Everywhere else is full, mate," Seamus whispered back. "And why are we whispering?"  
><em>_"Luna's asleep," I whispered, gesturing to her with my left hand.  
><em>_Dean smirked. "Luna fell asleep while she was all snuggled up against you?"  
><em>_"How touching," Seamus added.  
><em>_"Hey, knock it off," I snapped. "She's distraught, can't you see? Dumbledore just died. Aren't you, too?" Seamus and Dean could only nod their heads in agreement. "Besides, just look at her face. Does that look like a happy face to you?" Sure enough, Luna did not look happy. Even in her sleep, she looked as if she was about to cry. The two boys shook their heads.  
><em>_"But a normal distraught person doesn't go leaning up against their friend to cry. If I'm gonna cry, I'm gonna do it alone in the corner," Seamus said.  
><em>_"Well, girls are a weird species," I said. "They do things like this all the time. If a girl's upset and crying, what's their natural reaction? Go and hug their best friend. It takes quite awhile to understand them."  
><em>_Seamus shook his head. "Girls are too complicated."  
><em>_"You got that right, Seamus," Dean said.  
><em>_Suddenly, I felt movement on my right shoulder. I started to tense up a little bit. Luna was waking up. I panicked. What would she do if she saw Seamus and Dean in the compartment?  
><em>_But no, she wasn't waking up. She was merely adjusting her position. She gripped my arm slightly tighter, and she buried her nose into my shoulder.  
><em>_Seamus smirked. "And you say you're not a couple, eh Neville?"  
><em>_My face turned red. "We're not a couple."  
><em>_"Oh come on, Neville, stop denying it," Dean said. "It's pretty obvious you're in love with the girl."  
><em>_"I'm not 'in love' with her. No one's 'in love' with anyone at this age," I said. "It's more of a..."  
><em>_"A big, huge gigantic crush?" Seamus suggested.  
><em>_"Uh, yeah, that," I said, my face turning red.  
><em>_"Neville, a 'big huge gigantic crush' passes for 'in love' these days. At least ask her out, already," Dean said.  
><em>_I stayed silent. Everyone wanted me to ask her out these days. I just didn't know how.  
><em>_Just then, Lavender Brown and the Patil twins burst into the compartment.  
><em>_"Seamus, Dean, Nev-" Parvati started, then stopped when she saw Luna pressed up against me.  
><em>_"Seamus, Dean," her sister continued for her. "We need you in our compartment."  
><em>_"We would invite Neville, too, but," Lavender said, casting a glance in my direction. "I think he's a bit busy."  
><em>_The Patil twins giggled, and Dean and Seamus got up.  
><em>_"Good luck with that, mate," Seamus said as he left. Dean gave me a wink. And then the five of them were gone, leaving me alone in the compartment with a sleeping Luna.  
><em>_About twenty minutes before we arrived in King's Cross, Luna woke up.  
><em>_"Hmm? What happened? Did I fall asleep on you, Neville?"  
><em>_"Um...yeah."  
><em>_"Oh. My mistake. Should I move?"  
><em>_"No, no. You're fine."  
><em>_"Alright then."  
><em>_She moved her head into a more comfortable position, which tickled my neck. After a minute, she asked me,  
><em>_"Can you introduce me to your grandmother today, Neville?"  
><em>_"W-what?"  
><em>_"I'd like to meet your grandmother. She seems like a nice lady. Can you introduce me to her?"  
><em>_"Uh, sure."  
><em>_"Thank you."  
><em>_Soon enough, we were at the station. She seemed to have mostly recovered. There was no evidence of her crying, at least. We got off the train, and Luna linked her arm through mine. I saw my Gran, so I led Luna over to her.  
><em>_"Hi Gran," I said. "Gran, this is my friend Luna. Luna, this is my Gran."  
><em>_"Pleased to meet you, Ms. Longbottom," Luna said, outstretching her hand. Gran reluctantly shook it. "Ms. Longbottom, did you know that your head is full of wrackspurts?"  
><em>_Gran took a double-take. "My head's full of what?"  
><em>_"Wrackspurts. They're invisible creatures that fly in your ears and make your brain go fuzzy," Luna explained. Gran looked at her with a weird look. "Do you know about the Crumple-Horned Snorckack? Daddy and I are trying to find one, you know," Luna said.  
><em>_Gran looked at me. "Is she always like this?"  
><em>_"Yes. It's just the way she is," I said.  
><em>_Then Luna spotted her father. "Oh, look, Daddy's here. I have to go, Neville. Write me this summer. It was a pleasure meeting you, Ms. Longbottom." Then she gave me a hug and a sly little kiss on the cheek. "Bye, Neville."  
><em>_"Bye, Luna."  
><em>_And then she and her father left.  
><em>_Gran, with a quite irritated look on her face, got my trunks and then we left. When we got home, she took me by the sleeve and threw me down on the couch.  
><em>_"Ow! What's the matter, Gran?" I asked.  
><em>_"That is Luna Lovegood? That is the person you've been writing all last summer? That is the person I thought should be your girlfriend, but then found out she was a crazy lunatic? Her?" Gran was practically screaming.  
><em>_"Yes, her. She's my best friend," I said. "And she's not a lunatic. She just sees and does things in her own special way. She doesn't care what anybody thinks. She's just Luna."  
><em>_Gran crossed her arms. "That doesn't make matters any better. I still don't trust her. I forbid you from ever making this girl your girlfriend."  
><em>_I stood up and gave Gran a pretty menacing evil eye. "You have no control over me, or my love life." Gran actually shied back a little bit. But she managed to make a comeback.  
><em>_"Love life?" she snorted. "What love life? Who could ever love you? Shy, klutzy Neville Longbottom?"  
><em>_That hurt me on the inside. But I managed to say, in a quiet voice, "Luna would."  
><em>_As I started to make my way up the stairs, Gran shouted up to me, "I wish you were more like Harry Potter! He wouldn't go around making friends with lunatics!"  
><em>_"Hate to break it to you, Gran, but Harry's friends with Luna, too," I shouted back. I heard what sounded like an irritated gasp.  
><em>_I slammed the door to my room, making sure she heard it and knew I was angry. She had no right to talk about Luna like that. No one did. Luna is not a lunatic; she's a fantastic person, my best friend, and my love interest. A crush, maybe? No, probably bigger than that. What's a step between crush and love? Girlfriend? But we aren't officially together. Oh well. I'm too mad to think about it now. I'll write a letter to someone about it later. I don't care who. Just someone._

Luna didn't exactly know what to think of this entry. The very first part was a bit said, and the part in the train amused her. Seamus and Dean had come in? She hadn't noticed. And they thought Neville was in love with her? How far-fetched! Even though the crush on her hadn't gone away yet, it couldn't be love. It just couldn't be.

And the last part with Neville's grandmother alarmed her. She knew Neville's Gran didn't like her, but she didn't know that she had yelled at Neville just for bring friends with her. Poor Neville. He had a rough first day of summer.

Wait. Neville had said that Luna would be a person who would love him. Did he mean in a friendship sort of way, or a loving way? Luna would guess the latter.

Luna looked at the clock. It was now 3 AM. The hospital opened at 8:30. Luna still had time to finish the diary.

So that's exactly what she did.

**A/N: I dunno when I'll be able to post the next chapter, so just enjoy and please R&R! The reviews really help and I'm honestly interested to hear what you have to say. Please check out my other stories meanwhile!**


	4. Chapter 4: Love

**A/N: So here it is. The last chapter. It took me awhile, and it was hard. You're allowed to cry in this chapter. I almost did. Please enjoy and R&R!**

Chapter 4

Flipping the page, Luna saw the writing of a very angsty Neville.

_JULY 5, 1997_

_I'm still mad at Gran for talking that way about Luna. She has no right to do that! I'm so mad I don't even know how to write it here. So this entry will be ridiculously short._

_JULY 6, 1997_

_Things got better today. Sometime in the morning, Gran came into my room and apologized for the way she acted and talked about Luna. She said she shouldn't have talked about my friend like that and she wouldn't do it again. I forgave her and apologized for yelling at her._

_So happy day. This afternoon, I got a letter. Guess who from? Well, Luna of course, but I got another one. From Seamus. I guess he *finally* got to writing letters. There wasn't really anything special in the letter, just a bunch of hello's and how are you's. But it really touched me that he just took the time to write it._

Luna smiled at that. She wondered how long the letter actually was. Seamus didn't seem like the type to write long letters.

_JULY 15, 1997_

_Today Gran took me to Diagon Alley, mainly because she couldn't stand sitting inside the house doing nothing. So apparated to get there (we learned apparation this past year) and we basically just wandered around the shops for awhile. But, while I was looking at the books in Flourish and Blotts, I heard a high-pitched little voice behind me shout, "Neville Longbottom!"_

_I'd know that high-pitched squeak anywhere. I turned around, and there he was. Nigel Wespurt, the most adorable little chipmunk I've ever met. Don't tell him I said that. When I say adorable, I mean little-kid adorable. Well, come to think of it, Nigel isn't that much of a little kid anymore. When I look at him, I still see the twelve-year-old Nigel from the DA meetings. But really, he's almost fourteen now, and he'll be going into his fourth year. I even think he might be hitting puberty: he's gotten taller, and I think his voice is getting lower. Now *that's* a shame._

_"Nigel!" I went over to him, put him into a headlock then ruffled his hair. "How ya doing?" I let go of his head._

_Nigel laughed, then tried to fix his hair. "Alright. I'm finally hitting my growth spurt, though. My mum says I've grown an inch in the past two weeks!"_

_"That's great, Nigel," I said. "Have you been keeping up with your friends lately?"_

_"Oh, yes I have," Nigel said. "I write to Dennis Creevey. And sometimes Seamus Finnigan." Nigel leaned in and lowered his voice. "He tells me you fancy Luna Lovegood. Is that true?"_

_I chuckled. I knew Seamus sometimes wrote to our chipmunk buddy Nigel. Seemed just like Seamus to say that, though. "It's complicated, mate."_

_Nigel made a face. "I don't get love. Or girls."_

_I patted Nigel's head. "Oh, just you wait, Nigel. Someday, they'll be all you think about."_

_"I don't want that day to come."_

_That made me laugh. Sometimes, Nigel just amused me. It was nice to just stay in a childish world at times._

_"Oh, I see my mum. I have to leave. Bye, Neville!"_

_"Bye, Nigel."_

_And with that Nigel was gone from the shop. I honestly hadn't expected to see my chipmunk buddy while out and about. But then again, I'm a wizard. Anything can happen._

This entry amused Luna, too. She remembered Nigel. She always had to resist the temptation to ruffle his hair. He *was* adorable - and she too referred to him as a chipmunk - who didn't? She'd have to catch up with him someday, just to see how much he'd grown.

_JULY 30, 1997_

_Today's my birthday - my seventeenth. I'm excited. I really hope that this year would be better than last year._

_When I came downstairs in the morning, Gran fixed me up breakfast, and as I was enjoying it, I noticed only one present on the table. That disappointed me, seeing as all my friends had sent me presents last year. Oh well. What with Voldemort rising and killing people, they might have had other issues to deal with._

_A few hours later, Gran asked me to go out to Diagon Alley and pick up some ink for her quills. I was a little upset at that. Who makes you go run errands on your birthday? But nevertheless, I went anyways. It took me quite a bit to get, since they ran out then had to get it from the back of the store._

_When I got back, the house was quiet. Too quiet. Gran was nowhere to be seen._

_"Gran? Where are -"_

_Then suddenly, my vision was blinded by thousands of pieces of confetti exploding in my face, and noisemakers pounding my eardrums. Then six people popped up from various pieces of furniture, all shouting, "SURPRISE!" I immediately knew what this was. A surprise party._

_"Happy Birthday, Neville!" Dean and Seamus said, blowing their noisemakers once more. I figured they had to be muggle noisemakers, since wizard ones would probably be a hundred times louder._

_I took in the scene. The whole place had been decorated. There were snacks on the table, a big cake on the counter, and now confetti covering the ground. There were six people here: Seamus, Dean, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Luna. Harry was absent._

_I brushed confetti out of my eyes. "You guys didn't need to throw me a birthday party."_

_"Oh, but we wanted to," Ginny said._

_"And from what you've told us, you've never had one before," Ron said. "And it's in the summer, so why not?"_

_"Still, you guys really didn't need to go all out and plan this all for me."_

_"No, it wasn't all of us," Seamus said. "It was just Luna, actually. She planned the whole thing herself. With the permission of your Gran, of course."_

_I looked over at Luna, standing behind a chair with a noisemaker in her hand. "You planned this entire thing? Just for me?"_

_She nodded. "You deserve to have something nice on your birthday."_

_After a few seconds of silence, Ron said. "Well, let's start with the festivities, shall we? Presents first!"_

_As we all took our seats on the couches, Hermione said to me, "Neville, you should know that Harry wanted to come, but it's too risky to bring him out here. He sent his present, though."_

_"Alright, thanks, Hermione."_

_We sat down on the couches and I opened up all the presents. I'm not going to waste time by saying what they were and who gave them to me; that'd take too long._

_After presents, we listened to Dean tell a story about his cat digging up a skull in the backyard just last week, which put us in a dark mood. Then Seamus lightened up the mood by telling us a story about how two weeks ago, he managed to blow up his entire kitchen with only a potato. Now *that* was an interesting story, right there._

_Soon, Ginny and Hermione and Ron said they had to go._

_"Mum didn't want us to come here in the first place," Ginny said. "But after begging and pleading she finally let us, but she only permitted a few hours."_

_"We really wish we could stay, mate," Ron said. "But we have to go."_

_"We'll see you later, Neville, okay?" Hermione said._

_"Okay. Bye, guys," I said._

_"Bye."_

_And then they apparated out of sight. I wonder when the next time I'll see them is. I have a feeling Harry and Ron and Hermione might not come back to Hogwarts this year. But I hope I get to see Ginny._

_I turned my attention back to my current house guests. I was sitting next to Luna, and Seamus and Dean were on the other couch. Dean and Seamus suggested a game of truth or dare. I didn't want to play, but Luna was so enthusiastic that I agreed anyway._

_Seamus had a big grin on his face. "Alright, then. I think the birthday boy should have the liberty of being asked a question first." Uh-oh. In my gut I had a moment of turmoil. Truth or dare? Truth or dare? Seamus was bound to ask the deadly question in a matter of seconds._

_"Truth or dare, Neville?" Seamus asked. BAM. There it is. The deadly question._

_"Erm...dare, I guess," I said._

_Dean pretended to look shocked. "Neville Longbottom asking for a dare? What's happened to you?"_

_"Lighten up, Dean, I've got a good one for him," Seamus said, grinning. "Neville, I dare you to kiss Luna."_

_My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. Somehow, I knew he would ask something like that. Kiss Luna? Of course I wanted to kiss Luna! It's all I wanted! But kiss her in front of Seamus and Dean? No way. It'd be too awkward, and Seamus'd probably wolf-whistle. What to do? Then suddenly, my brain thought of a great idea._

_I leaned over and kissed Luna on the cheek, like she had to me many times before. She smiled a bit, which brought out some of her lovely features. Like the way happiness seemed to ooze from her every pore, or the way her hair shimmered in the sunlight, or how her lovely eyes glistened. Oh, I cannot get over how beautiful she is._

_Back in reality, Seamus and Dean groaned in disappointment. "What was that? You were supposed to kiss her on the *lips,*" Seamus said._

_"So? You never said the lips, you just said to kiss her," I said. Dean laughed while Seamus muttered a swear._

_"Alright then, my turn," I said. "Seamus. Truth or dare?"_

_"Dare! I'm not a wimp like you."_

_"Alright. I dare you to try to blow up my entire front yard. With only a toothpick."_

_Seamus snorted. "I can do it."_

_"Okay," I said. I went to the kitchen, found a toothpick, went back to the couches, then placed it in Seamus's hand. "Wand, please."_

_Seamus took his wand out of his pocket and put it down on the table. "I'll be back in sixty seconds."_

_After Seamus walked through the front door, Dean gave me an alarmed look. "Um, Neville, you shouldn't have done that."_

_"Why?" Luna asked._

_"Because, you know Seamus's record of blowing things up," Dean said._

_"Yeah, so?" I asked._

_"Trust me, I know it better than you do. And he's gotten better at it. He'd blow up -"_

_Then came a deafening *BOOM* from outside. The three of us rushed to the front door, and I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked out._

_My entire yard had been blown up. Not a single blade of grass survived. Every inch of ground was either black and scorched, lit aflame, or gone. I turned to Seamus, who was looking quite proud of himself._

_"And to believe I did all that with a toothpick," Seamus boasted._

_"Seamus! How did you...what did...we have to fix this before my Gran finds out!"_

_So the rest of us spent the next hour fixing up my lawn. And during that time, I realized to *never ever ever* underestimate Seamus and his ability to blow things up. You never know, that might come in handy one day._

_One tidied-up yard later, we were back in the house, and once again it was Seamus's turn, who dared Dean to find him at least seven dust bunnies in my house, which he did. They were all shaped like bunnies, too._

_Now it was Dean's turn. "Hmm...Luna. Truth or dare?"_

_"Truth. I don't see any harm in that," Luna said. My stomach knotted._

_"Alright. Is there anyone that you just happen to fancy?" My knotted stomach did a backflip._

_"Well, fancy doesn't seem like the right word. You might fancy a hobby, but fancying a person sounds wrong. But in answer to your question; no, I guess not."_

_I'm surprised Luna didn't notice the disappointment in my eyes. I know Seamus and Dean did. I'm pretty sure they were watching my reaction._

_"Mind if I use the loo real quick?" Luna got up and made her way to the bathroom. When she shut the door, Seamus and Dean leaned in towards me and started whispering._

_"I was *sure* she'd say yes," Seamus said._

_"She doesn't like me, guys," I said. "Not like that. Trust me, I know Luna. If she did, I would know."_

_"I know, but one would think," Dean said. "that she would. I mean, just look at the two of you. You practically act like a couple already."_

_Then Luna came out of the bathroom, so we acted like we had said nothing while she was gone. Luna then admitted she didn't feel like playing truth or dare anymore, so for the next few hours we played a few different games until Seamus and Dean said that they had to leave. When they were gone, Luna scooted a bit closer to me. We talked for quite a long bit, until Luna also had to go. She kissed my cheek before she left, and then she was gone._

Luna remembered this. Yes, it was true never to underestimate Seamus and his ability to blow things up. And it *would* come in handy later; just look at what it did in the Battle of Hogwarts.

She remembered seeing Neville's face when they'd surprised him. He'd looked just so happy. Luna had been glad she had put it together - and it had been no trouble at all.

The game of truth or dare sounded different coming from Neville. He sounded as if he wanted to kiss her and didn't want the pressure. Luna had just interpreted it as a friendly kiss. And it didn't seem like his crush on her was going away...when would it?

_SEPTEMBER 1, 1997_

_Things at Hogwarts have changed._

_I'll start on the train. As suspected, Harry, Ron and Hermione aren't returning this year. I met Ginny and Luna on the train, and we sat together. We talked about the grave times that were ahead. Ginny briefly talked about her brother Bill's wedding, which Luna had also attended. I felt jealous. If I'd been invited, I probably could have danced with Luna!_

_Unfortunately, Death Eaters arrived on the train to search it for Harry. Cormac McLaggen (dunno why he's still at Hogwarts; probably failed all his classes and had to repeat his seventh year or something) greeted them by angrily saying, "My father *will* hear about this." Funny. I thought that was Draco Malfoy's line. Come to think of it, I'm not sure he was on the train, either. I saw Crabbe and Goyle, though._

_Annoyed with the Death Eaters on our train, I stood up and faced them. "Hey, losers. He isn't here."_

_Giving me an angry look and a grunt, they left the train. I sat back down._

_"That was real brave, Neville," Luna said. Brave? I just wanted them out of my hair._

_"It was nothing. I just wanted them gone," I said._

_"Nothing? You kidding me? I wouldn't have been able to say that! They're giving me the look of death!" Ginny said._

_Luna patted my hand. "See? You *are* brave."_

_I was red-faced until we got to Hogwarts. But when we got there, it didn't feel like Hogwarts. It was too dark. In feel, not in light. Snape is the new headmaster, so the castle's overrun by Death Eaters. And muggle-borns aren't allowed in the castle anymore, so Justin Finch-Fletchley, Kevin Entwhistle, and the Creevey brothers aren't allowed in and they haven't come back. Hermione wouldn't have been allowed in anyways, even if she'd shown up. A whole lot of other kids didn't show up, either. Dean is nowhere to be seen. We know he's half-blood, but the Ministry doesn't believe him. Parvati and Lavender showed up, and I haven't even looked for those other two Gryffindor girls of my year. I'm not sure anyone has looked for them. I'm not sure anyone cares._

_When it was time for us to go to bed, it was then that I realized that it would only be me and Seamus in our dorm. We both just stood in the doorway, and we noticed how empty it seemed. Over half of the room's residents were missing. I could literally see Seamus trembling. I knew he was brave, but this was quite a bombshell. It made sense for him to be scared. *I'm* scared. But he'll toughen up soon. I know it._

_I patted Seamus on the back. "It'll be alright, Seamus. It'll be okay."_

_Seamus lessened his trembling and nodded. And then we started getting ready for what was sure to be a long night._

_Now, normally, Seamus has the bed closest to the right side of the door, with Ron on his right, Harry on Ron's right, me on Harry's right, somewhat across from Seamus, with Dean on my right, nearest to the left side of the door. However, this year, all our stuff was set up in our respective beds, but Seamus migrated his stuff to Dean's bed to be closer to me. I understand that. If he hadn't moved, I'd have moved over to Ron's bed._

_Neither of us have slept at all yet. I think now Seamus can *see* me writing in here. That'll just make him find out about this book faster._

Luna frowned when she read this. She remembered that day. It was the beginning of a series of dark days for her.

She was also a little glad that there wasn't too much talk of her in this entry. Maybe Neville's crush on her was *finally* starting to go away.

_OCTOBER 14, 1997_

_I hate the Carrows. Stupid, bloody Death Eaters. They enjoy torturing us, you know. Today I made one snide comment to Alecto and she beat me across the face. These people make Umbridge look tame! Seriously!_

_Today I was sitting in the library with Ginny and Luna. When no one was watching, we were talking about how awfully the Carrows are treating us._

_"You know, I think we should get Dumbledore's Army back together," Ginny eventually said._

_"Dumbledore's Army?" I repeated._

_"That's an excellent idea, Ginny!" Luna said._

_"But Harry isn't here. Who'd be our leader?" I inquired._

_"You'd be our leader, of course," Ginny said._

_"W-what? Me? Who'd want to be taught by me?"_

_"Oh, Neville, you're too modest," Luna said. "You know lots of spells, you're brave, and you've got seniority."_

_And so it was decided that Dumbledore's Army would be reformed, to rebel against the Carrows, and I would be the new leader. We went around to a bunch of old DA members, telling them about the reformation and asking them to join. Seamus, the Patil twins, Lavender, Nigel, Michael Corner, Anthony Goldstein, Terry Boot, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, and Ernie Macmillan all immediately said yes. And apparently, news spreads fast, because we got two new recruits: Romilda Vane and Leanne Moon. We used the old coins that Hermione made for communication, and luckily we found two extra to give to Romilda and Leanne._

_I just hope this all works out._

Luna remembered this. Not specifically, but Neville's entry brought it to memory. To her, Neville had been the obvious choice for the leader. She wondered why he always doubted himself. Though, in the Carrow days, he was more brave and self-confident.

_DECEMBER 3, 1997_

_The DA is going okay, I guess. We try to pull stunts like rescue first years from the dungeon. Although when Michael Corner went out there he got a pretty nasty punishment._

_The Room of Requirement's been quite a lifesaver. I stumbled across it when trying to escape the Carrows, and it's been perfect. I basically live here now. More people started joining me. Ginny and Luna were first, then Seamus soon afterwards, mainly because I don't think he can stand sleeping up in that tower by himself. All the other DA members have gotten in here by now, and sometimes the occasional first year stumbles in for the night._

_It's kinda weird, having people look up to me for guidance. I used to be Neville Longbottom, the klutzy loser. Now I'm Neville Longbottom, leader of Dumbledore's Army. I call all the shots on almost everything. Ginny and Luna are my close second-in-commands, though. And that means I get to spend extra time with them. I really do love spending time with Luna. I mean, Ginny's cool, yes, but she's not the same as Luna. No one is. Even in these dark times, she has a bright side to everything and keeps me happy._

_So here I am sitting on my hammock in the Room of Requirement, gazing lovingly at Luna from across the room. She's so beautiful when she's asleep. She almost always manages a smile (dunno how that happened) and it's kinda like...dunno. Like the moon's looking at you? I can't really explain._

_Oh no. I woke up Seamus. How can I be loud? I'm in a *hammock.* He must have sensitive ears or something. Uh-oh. He sees the book. He's coming over here and-_

**Ha! Neville's got a diary! I wish I'd found out about this earlier. And for those people reading this who stole it from Neville's trunk, this is Seamus. I stole his diary. And now I'm writing in it. I'm not bothering to read it, since it's dark and I'm lazy. But I'm *so* going to tease Neville about this when this is all over, and possibly read it.**

Luna shook her head. So Seamus *had* found out about the diary eventually. She wondered if he still remembered it. He probably wouldn't.

Luna looked like a moon when she slept? Apparently it *hadn't* gone away yet.

_JANUARY 3, 1998_

_Oh my God. Oh my God. Luna's gone. Oh my God. Oh my God. Bloody hell. How could this happen? She was here before Christmas and now...gone._

_People say she was kidnapped by Death Eaters. Some say she's being held somewhere. I'm so terrified she'll be tortured or something. All I want is to have her here, safe in my arms._

_Oh my God. I just had an *AWFUL* thought. What if she's being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange? With the torture spell? What if she loses her mind? No. I will *not* allow that to happen. If that mad woman lays a *finger* on lovely Luna, she will pay and pay dearly._

_All day I've been pacing the floor, wringing my hands, biting my fingernails, and saying "Oh my God" at random times. Everyone knows it's because Luna's missing. Seamus and Ginny have been constantly trying to calm me down, but it hasn't really worked. I'm still worried sick. Thinking about my Luna, down in a dark dungeon cell, watching helplessly as another beam of red light comes upon her..._

_AARRGGHH! I'm so anxious I want to scream. I almost threw a book at Lavender Brown today because she had talked to me in a state of deep anxiety. Luckily, Seamus used *wingardium leviosa* to slide the book out of my hands, so I threw nothing but air at Lavender, who scurried away anyways._

_"Neville, what is up with you today?" Seamus asked. "You seem a bit on the edge."_

_"It's Luna," I said. "I'm worried sick about her."_

_"Yeah, we're all worried about her," Seamus said._

_"No, it's just...you don't understand," I said. Suddenly I was glad there was no one else in the room after Lavender took off. "I can't stop thinking about her. I'm worried that someone might torture her, and I - we might never get her back. We'll never be able to see her beautiful - I mean, her again."_

_"Oh, Neville, would you just face it?" Seamus said. "You're in love with the girl! Don't deny it! And don't try to say that it's not love, because it is. I know it is. I see the way you look at her every single day, and the way you talk to her and look into her eyes, itch to hold her hand. It's love, Neville. Don't try to convince me, or yourself, of anything different."_

_I thought *long* and *hard* about what Seamus said. I literally think I didn't make another sound all day. And I was still thinking about it when I was lying in my hammock. Still am, actually._

_Could it be love? I *know* that it's bigger than a crush. But love? True love isn't supposed to be meant for kids. It's meant for mature adults. But then again, we're probably as mature as we're going to be now. And Ron loves Hermione, I know that for a fact. We all do._

_So, I guess...maybe it could be. I don't wanna think about it. All I know is that tonight I'm going to have nightmares about Luna screaming in pain of being tortured._

Luna's eyes widened reading this. Love? No, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen! Neville didn't have feelings for her now, she knew it. But love...love never goes away. Not entirely. Reading this entry, seeing how much Neville worried about her, wanted her safe in his arms, and reading how Seamus said he loves her...

Could it be possible? That Neville loved her? And still did? For once in her life, Luna considered the possibility. But she didn't ponder it long.

_APRIL 14, 1998_

_Ginny's gone now. She's not missing, we know that. She just voluntarily chose not to come back after Easter. After the initial shock of the news, I didn't give it much thought._

_I'm still worried sick about Luna. After my initial blowout on that first day, I sort of went back to normal. On the outside, at least. But on the inside, it's like a pit of acid. I know there's no normal without Luna here with me._

_Seamus, my new second-in-command after Ginny and Luna were no longer to be seen, is trying to be supportive. He knows I'm shaken, but he says I need to keep up my role as a leader if we're going to make it through this. Ernie Macmillan went to go free some first-years from the dungeons last night, with no causalities, thank God. Michael Corner says he's going to go down there tomorrow. I wish him luck._

_Today was pretty grim, after Parvati Patil came back bloody from a beating. There was a silence as Lavender and Romilda Vane helped her to her cot and then started to clean her wounds. I couldn't help thinking about how if Luna were here, she would help to lighten up the mood with her airy flights of fancy. Everyone would appreciate even a talk of nargles and wrackspurts right then._

_I can't stop thinking about her. Her voice, her hair, her face, just...Luna. Luna Luna Luna. Lovely Luna. Who I can't bear to spend a day without. Who I want to be safe and near so dearly._

_As I lay in the hammock tonight, sure everyone else is asleep, I whisper, "You were right, Seamus."_

_Now Seamus either wasn't asleep or I just woke him up, because now I hear shuffling in the hammock beside mine and he says, "Right about what?"_

_"Luna," I say simply._

_"Pardon?"_

_"You were right. I do love her, Seamus."_

_Even though I can't see him, I know he has a big grin on his face. "About time you saw it, mate. First time I've been right about anything, too..."_

_I heard snoring right after that comment. And as I lay here, I know there will only be one thought in my mind as I try to fall asleep:_

_Yes, I do love Luna Lovegood._

This entry both made her as happy as could be and made her stomach sink. She was glad that Neville had finally figured out his feelings - it was always frustrating to be in a fuzzy mess of thoughts. But she knew Neville wasn't supposed to love her - they were just friends. And Neville didn't love her now...or did he?

Luna stopped herself from pushing away her thoughts and *really* thought about these past few years. She thought about things that she remembered, and she took these diary entries into account, too. She thought of all the times she and Neville had sat outside together in the quiet moonlight, all the times Luna had caught Neville looking at her, the times she had sat up against Neville, or had rested in his arms, all those nights talking, and, according to this diary, all the times Neville thought about her, worried about her, and wanted to hold her...

It was then Luna realized that even now, Neville loved her. Really, truly loved her. And all these years, she hadn't noticed until now. She felt awfully guilty about not even seeing it.

Guilt in her heart, she flipped the page.

_MAY 1, 1998_

_Harry's back at Hogwarts. Everyone was excited. Like, freaking out and screaming excited. But you'd think Harry coming back would be excitement enough, right? *Wrong!* Know why? Because after Harry and Ron and Hermione climbed with me through that portrait hole, a few minutes later came Luna! *Luna!* And Dean, too, but mainly Luna!_

_I was so excited that I shouted her name and squeezed her into a hug. I'm *SOOO* happy that she's alive, safe, well, and here with us. I think she was happy to see me, too._

_I could sense every pair of eyes on us (not including Seamus; he was too busy hugging Dean), but I didn't care. Every person in the room knew I was in love with her - except Luna. It crossed my mind - when am I going to tell her? I know I needed to, now that I had clarified that myself, but when? And how?_

_Harry was going on about how he needed to find some crown-looking thing, and I knew it was important, but right now my mind's elsewhere. I think you can guess where._

_We urged Harry to get a good night's rest before searching again. He protested, but we insisted. I think it was really Ron and Hermione that convinced him._

_Four more Gryffindor hammocks were added, along with Luna's over in Ravenclaw. It's a shame she has to sleep over there instead of here with us._

_We're all attempting to sleep now, but it's not really working. Harry's real antsy. And I get the feeling something big is coming tomorrow. I dunno what, but it's just that_ _feeling._

Luna knew what was coming next - the Battle. That was one of the clearest days in her life. But she wasn't thinking about that right now.

Neville had planned to tell Luna that he loved her? Why didn't he? Either something went wrong in his plan, or he just didn't find the courage.

Not exactly knowing what would come next, she flipped the page.

_MAY 2, 1998_

_The Battle of Hogwarts. Probably one of the biggest days of my life. No joke. This was HUGE._

_First thing in the morning, Snape ordered us to the Great Hall, said Harry Potter was in the castle and wanted us to give him up. Then Harry stepped out in the open and confronted Snape, who eventually fled, and the Battle began. Preparations were made, McGonagall sent stone soldiers to guard the castle, and a lot of the teachers were setting up protective enchantments. I couldn't believe my ears when McGonagall said we could blow up the entire Covered Bridge, and she said I should get help from Seamus. I believe her exact words were, "Why don't you confer with Mr. Finnigan? As I recall he has a particular proclivity for pyrotechnics." And Seamus's reaction was, "I can bring it down!" I found that quite humorous._

_And yes, Seamus's talent *did* end up coming in handy one day. On the bridge, I kept watch for Snatchers, three of which were obliterated by the protective field. I taunted the helpless Snatchers by saying, "Yeah? You and who's army?" It was all great fun until Voldemort destroyed the shield. And then I was running for my life down the bridge away from Snatchers. However, I cast a spell to completely destroy the bridge (Seamus's favorite spell, I may say), killing all the Snatchers. I barely managed to get a handhold on the ledge and pull myself up. That would have been *bad.*_

_So then I fought with everyone else in the Battle, and watching people drop dead beside me, I realized that I might not make it. I might die fighting today, and then I won't ever be able to tell Luna that I love her. It seemed more desperate to go and find her by the moment, but it was impossible to. I had to keep fighting._

_By some odd stroke of luck, we had a little "intermission" or "break" as you may call it, when Voldemort temporarily retreated his forces. Everyone was in the Great Hall, and there was mourning and death everywhere. I saw a lot of people who I knew who'd died: Lupin, Tonks, Colin Creevey, Lavender (to believe some of my last thoughts about her while she was alive was how much I wanted to throw a book at her), and Fred. They were all blows to me, but I was glad I didn't see Luna among the bodies. In fact, I saw her alive and well, tending to the wounded. I wished I could go over to her, but I only had enough energy to sit down on the nearest bench._

_Soon, there was a commotion outside. We went and checked it out, and there was Voldemort and his Death Eaters, and Hagrid, carrying...Harry's dead body. No. Harry dead? It didn't seem real._

_"Harry Potter is dead!" Voldemort declared._

_"No!" Ginny cried out._

_Then Voldemort called for volunteers to join his side. Draco Malfoy reluctantly joined his parents, and received an awkward hug from Voldemort. I honestly could *never* in my life see Voldemort giving a hug, but that's what he did._

_Bravely, I stepped forward. Not to join the other side, no. Not ever. Voldemort asked me my name, and he and his Death Eaters laughed when I told him. I gave a speech about how even though a lot of people died, it wasn't in vain, and Harry did care for us. Then I pulled the Sword of Gryffindor from the Sorting Hat, which just happened to be in my hand (forgot how it got there), then Harry suddenly sprang up out of Hagrid's arms, and the Battle commenced again. An irritated Voldemort cursed me back into the rubble while the battling went on. After a bit of simply lying there and trying to get up, I finally did get up, and then found Harry and Ginny in the castle._

_"Neville, are you okay?" Harry asked me._

_"I'm great! I feel like I could spit fire!" It was true; adrenaline rushed through my veins. "Hey, have either of you seen Luna anywhere?"_

_"Luna?" Harry asked. Oh, Harry. As if you didn't know."_

_"Yeah. I love her, I've got to tell her. We both might be dead by tomorrow." With that I clutched the Sword harder and went off to find my Luna._

_Unfortunately, even in times of need fate loves to torture me, because I could not find Luna no matter how hard I looked. Grr. Stupid fate._

_However, slithering by me was Voldemort's gigantic snake. I remembered Harry saying something about how killing the snake was vitally important, and it needed to be dead at all costs. So I did my beat to follow the snake as fast as I could, lugging the Sword with me. Good thing I hurried, too, because the snake had cornered Ron and Hermione, and was preparing to lunge at them, so I ran forward and sliced the snake's head clean off with the Sword. The snake's head lolled off to the side, and then it disintegrated completely, leaving nothing but ash. Ron and Hermione didn't even get a chance to thank me, because I was off again, looking for my love._

_Eventually, I witnessed Harry and Voldemort's duel, and after Harry disarmed Voldemort, he hit him with another curse and then...he was gone. The Dark Lord's body shriveled into a million pieces and then blew away._

_There were cheers, I think. The Death Eaters retreated, and the survivors made their way into the Great Hall._

_I heard Mrs. Weasley killed Bellatrix Lestrange. If I didn't respect her before, I *certainly* respect her now. She just killed my mortal enemy! Who I swore I would kill in revenge for my parents!_

_I still held the Sword of Gryffindor as I sat down on one of the tables in the Great Hall. I needed a rest after all that excitement. But I felt my heart speed up when Luna sat down next to me. She looked particularly well._

_"It's over," I said. "And we're still alive."_

_Luna nodded. "Yes, we are."_

_I wanted so badly to tell her that I love her. Or to even kiss her, perhaps. But all the courage had been drained out of me. Besides, this really didn't seem like the moment._

_So we just awkwardly sat there, until eventually we were forced to get up. McGonagall, taking charge of things, said we would spend one more night here, help to pick up tomorrow, and then be sent home. She told us to get in groups of eight for our sleeping arrangements, so I got in a group with Luna, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Seamus and Dean. We were all really tired, so when McGonagall said it was time for bed, we all slept right away. Except for me and Seamus, who were taking a bit longer._

_"So, I assume you found Luna in the Battle and told her about your undying love for her?" Seamus asked._

_I sighed. "No."_

_Seamus sat up. "No? What d'you mean, no?" He was talking a little fast._

_"I couldn't find her to tell her."_

_"So why can't you just tell her now?"_

_"It's not the same, Seamus."_

_"If you don't do it soon, you're gonna regret it, mate."_

_"I'll keep that in mind. Now, go to sleep, Seamus. This time you're the one keeping *me* up."_

_And with that we fell asleep. Of course, I didn't actually write this on the day of. I didn't bother going to find this bloody book. It's May fourth now. I found out Gran's dead. I don't really like to talk about it. So I alive alone in my house now, but I can take care of myself._

_I've visited Luna once since the Battle, and I think I will again tomorrow. I might write letters to everyone else, too._

Luna had to fight to keep back tears. Neville had spent the entire Battle thinking about her. He had wanted to find her and tell her...tell her that he loved her. And all that time, Luna had just been focused on fighting. She didn't like to recall that day, even though it had been just a few months ago. Battle...fighting...she remembered Neville's speech. She thought it was well-given. And she thought Neville was so brave when he'd beheaded that snake - he'd basically killed Voldemort, right then.

And how heartless Luna was, knowing Neville for all these years, who had loved her from the beginning, and not loving him back. Sometimes she wished she could, but she just didn't love him...

Did she?

She didn't want to, but for Neville's sake, she delved into her feelings. She thought about how whenever Neville was around, she felt happy and complete, and whenever he was gone, she felt cold and empty. How she enjoyed the feel of his arms wrapped around her, how she enjoyed his warmth when she pressed herself against him, how she just loved to look in those green eyes of his and see them sparkle, how she even adored his stutter. How Neville always listened to her talk about mystical creatures, and how he never, not once, called her Loony Lovegood. How he was kind and honest and caring and brave, and how he was the very first person to bring a splotch of pink on to her pale face. How when they were sitting on that table after the Battle, she was yearning for a kiss...

That's when Luna deemed it possible that she might indeed love Neville. It was a possibility. But she wanted to read the rest of the diary first. There were only a few more entries left.

_MAY 29, 1998_

_I dunno why I spend time on the Hogwarts grounds. Maybe because there's really nowhere else to go that feels like home. Either way, I still get to spend time with Luna here. She comes here everyday, as well. Sometimes we just sit on the grounds, and sometimes we sit by the Lake. One time we threw rocks into the water for all the people we knew who'd died in the battle. We picked a purpley-pink tinted one for Lavender, a small grayish-brown one for Colin, a funny-shaped one for Fred, a round white one for Lupin, and for Tonks, one that seemed to change color when you moved it around. We've stopped playing those games, though._

_But here's a blow: a few weeks ago, Luna pointed out some huge, deep gash in my upper arm. I dunno how it got there, but it sure looks ugly, and I'm sure it's a battle wound. I assured Luna it was fine, and that I didn't need to go to the hospital._

_But it was a lie. Today, it hurts like hell. A searing pain shooting through my upper arm and spreading throughout my entire body. It hurts. It hurts like nothing else I've ever felt before. But I'm lying so that I don't worry Luna. She's got enough on her mind. She doesn't have to worry about me right now. I can deal with my own injuries._

This time, the tears actually did fall from Luna's eyes. So Neville *had* been hurting. Hurting badly. And he lied just so he wouldn't worry her. Luna cried about how sweet that was. But she would have loved to have known, so she would have been able to get help faster. It might even be too late now.

_JUNE 1, 1998_

_I sick. REALLY sick. Barely move. Can barely hold quill._

_ I tell Luna I'm fine. Got to spare her the worry..._

_I love you, Luna._

That was the last entry. The next page was blank, which Luna's tears fell onto.

Neville's last written words were *I love you, Luna.* How could you get more sweet and caring than that? Luna didn't see how Neville could love her more.

All she felt was guilt. Him loving her, but her only having a possibility of loving him back. But, now that she thought about it...she could...but she couldn't...it just wasn't possible...oh, but it was...no it wasn't...

Luna came to the conclusion that she couldn't deny it any longer. She had to stop telling herself things. She faced the truth.

She was in love with Neville Longbottom.

As she thought about this, she realized she had loved him all along. Ever since that first day in the carriages, she'd been fascinated by him. She'd grown closer to him, learning of his wonderful personality. She willingly let herself hug him, kiss his cheek, lean against him, stare into his eyes...telling everyone else it was because of her slight looniness, and telling herself it was because he was her best friend.

Wrong. He was much more than that.

She thought about him, even when her mind was cluttered to the bursting point. The sight of him made her stomach flutter. Even sometimes brought a flush to her face. He was the only one who ever did that.

She loved him. She truly did. There was no doubt about it now.

Luna looked out the window to see bright daylight. It was just about time to go to the hospital to see Neville. And tell him she knew about the diary.

She hid the diary in a trunk up in Neville's room, so she knew exactly where to find it later.

Then she apparated out of Neville's house, and into St. Mungo's.

There, she didn't feel the need to talk to the nurse, but she stopped her anyway.

"Miss Lovegood, before you go in there, you should know something," the nurse said. "Overnight, Mr. Longbottom got worse. *Much* worse. We don't think he'll make it through today."

Luna's heart stopped hearing this, and she resisted the urge to cry. But she remained strong. "Well, I'll just have to make the most of his last few moments," she said. Then Luna went in to see Neville.

Already, Luna could tell he was worse. His face was pale, there were bags under his eyes, and the gash was all swollen. Luna sat on the side of his bed, either way. She took his hand in both of hers.

"Luna," Neville croaked. "How are you?"

"Fine," Luna said. "The real question is: how are you?"

"Not so good, Luna. I feel worse. The nurse says I might not make it."

A single tear fell down Luna's cheek. "I know."

"What is it, Luna? I can tell you want to tell me something."

"I do." Luna took a deep breath. "Neville, I went to your house last night, and I read your diary."

Neville was silent as he took this in. "That old thing?"

Luna nodded. "Yes. And I want you to know...I know everything. I know that you love me."

"I do, Luna. I still love you," Neville paused. "But you don't love me, do you?"

"That's another thing, Neville. I feel guilty about not seeing it for the past few years, and I realized...I love you too, Neville. With all of my heart."

"Oh. Well, that's...wonderful to hear. I love you, Luna."

"I know. And now I feel that it's finally time for you to get something you deserve. Something you should have got a *long* time ago."

And that's when Luna leaned in and kissed Neville, full on the lips. This was to make up for the first kiss he should have gotten in the fifth year.

When she drew away, she saw a hint of a smile on Neville's face. "Luna, all my life, that's all I've ever really wanted. A kiss from you."

And to make Neville's wish come true even more, she leaned down and started kissing him again, in a fashion Seamus would have called, "snogging." She kissed him passionately, to make up for all the kissing she failed to give him in the past years. Although, she knew in her heart it would never be enough to satisfy herself.

She reluctantly drew away, knowing it had to end sometime. She gripped his hand slightly tighter. That's when Neville said to her, "Luna, would you do me a favor?"

"Yes, Neville, anything."

"Make that when you get the chance, you tell Harry and Seamus that I *did* end up snogging Luna Lovegood."

That put the tiniest hint of a smile on Luna's face, but only for a second. Neville had closed his eyes and put his head back down on the bed. He wasn't moving.

Then Luna could feel his heartbeat stop, sense his pulse go still, and feel his body go cold.

And then Neville was gone.

**A/N: And that's the end. It's all over. However, I COULD post another chapter IF i get ten requests (from ten _different _people) over reviews for another chapter by September 8th. Ten reviews. You have one week. Or else...it ends here.**


	5. Chapter 5: Death

**A/N: Alright. It's been a week, and I'm keeping my promise, so here's the chapter. I can tell that my writing quality went down drastically, so don't expect perfection out of this. Don't hate me either. I expect this to be the ACTUAL last chapter, too, so enjoy this while you can!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for the sensitive and slightly depressed Seamus Finnigan (jk i dont own him just his personality in this part)**

Chapter 5: Death

Luna sat in the Leaky Cauldron, not saying a word. She hadn't spoken at all since Neville's death. Out of every day she'd lived, _that_ would be the clearest day of her life. She was absolutely positive about that.

She remembered his heartbeat stopping. She'd had that moment of denial. That moment where she thought, _No, he can't be dead. He can't possibly be dead._ But realization came into her and the tears began to come. She still held his hand. But then the nurse came and ushered her out. She held onto Neville's hand as long as possible, but eventually the nurse forced her to let go. And then she was dragged out of his room, and when the curtain closed, Luna knew that would be the last she would ever see of Neville Longbottom.

She had gone home and cried her eyes out. She knew she should be stronger, but she just couldn't handle it. The boy she loved, and the boy who loved her, was gone. Gone forever. And there would be no getting him back. Every time Luna thought the tears were done, she began to think of this, and then the tears would start again.

Then she slept. For almost an entire day. And she sat around being a lump. Eventually, two days later, she convinced herself that she needed to get out of the house.

So there she sat in the Leaky Cauldron. The tears still sometimes came out. She might have not been crying on the outside, but on the inside, she was broken and sobbing.

On the table sat a pumpkin juice. Not her normal butterbeer. No, those reminded her too much of Neville. Instead she settled for a pumpkin juice. Which she hadn't even touched, let alone opened.

She thought of Neville. Oh, why did it have to be him? Why did he have to go? Luna thought of all the fun times she'd had with him. The times they'd sat by the lakeside, the times they'd talked together despite the constant torment, Neville's blush when Luna had kissed his cheek under the mistletoe, the times she'd sat in his arms...the tears came to her eyes again. She loved him. There was no doubt in her heart now. And he was dead.

As Luna was wandering in painful thoughts, she heard the door to the Leaky Cauldron open. And who could come in but Seamus Finnigan. One of Neville's dearest friends. Who'd known his past. Who's been the one to convince Neville he loved Luna.

Luna tried to keep a low profile so that Seamus wouldn't notice her. But, of course, Seamus being Seamus, he spotted her immediately, then made a beeline for her table with a happy grin on his face.

"Hullo, Luna. Didn't expect to see you here," Seamus said happily. But then he noticed the tears in Luna's eyes and her grim expression, and his smile faded. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, taking the seat across from Luna.

Luna didn't want to meet his eyes. But she didn't want to be rude. She looked across into the pools of blue. Good-natured Seamus didn't need his spirits crushed with the news of Neville's death. No one knew yet. If Luna had her way, no one would know. But it was only right to tell everyone else. They deserved to know. Looking at Seamus, she didn't want to tell him. But the eagerness on his face left her no other choice.

"It's Neville," she whispered.

"What about him?" Seamus asked.

Luna gulped and took a deep breath before saying, "He's dead."

Complete and utter shock showed on Seamus's face. "What?"

Luna took another breath and spoke louder. "He's dead, Seamus. Dead. Gone. And he won't be coming back."

Finally the news sunk in to Seamus's brain, and he suddenly laid his head down on the table and started to sob. He sobbed like no eighteen-year-old boy should, yet Luna found it acceptable anyway.

His tears triggered Luna's tears, and soon she was sobbing as well. She sat there, crying with Seamus. Neville was dead. Dead. There was no bringing him back.

They got strange looks from people passing by, but no one bothered them. Most everyone these days knew what it was like to lose a loved one. Sympathy was in the air.

Seamus understood Luna's pain. Luna had lost Neville, the one she loved. Seamus had also lost a loved one; Lavender. Luna knew Seamus wasn't really in _love_ with Lavender, but he had had a crush on her, and it'd been hard for him. But he hadn't cried. Not like this. Obviously Neville meant much more to him than Lavender did.

They still sat there; crying. And eventually, after a long agonizing while, Seamus sat up, wiped his eyes, and sniffled. This made Luna stop crying, too. Seamus started to speak.

"I-I-I didn't even know...how heartless am I? Not checking to see if my friend was okay. At least I could've been there for him."

"There was nothing you could have done, Seamus," Luna said. "I was there. And he died anyway."

Seamus's face was still grim. "Still, I feel bad now. I've barely spoken to anybody after the war."

"What about Dean?"

"He's off in America doing some fancy wizard ambassador job," Seamus said. "I'm glad for him, but it's not for me. I need something low-key. Right now I work as a wizard demolitions expert. I'm the best there."

This brought a hint of a smile to Luna's face. The first in days. Seamus knew how to make almost anyone laugh. But it soon disappeared, since there were grim thoughts in Luna's mind.

"Hey, I know it's sad, and I feel like crying my eyes out, but there's no reason to get so down," Seamus said, trying to cheer up Luna.

"No, I can't cheer up, Seamus," Luna said. "You don't understand. You don't know what it's like. I...I love him, Seamus. And now he's _gone_. You don't know what that's like."

Seamus was silent for a moment. "You love him?"

"Yes. I do."

Seamus sighed. "I always thought so. He loved you, too. A _lot_. You two always did have that sort of connection. One that nobody else had. It's just heartbreaking you had to realize it too late."

This made the tears fall again. Their love for each other confirmed by _Seamus_. An outsider. She couldn't take this much longer. She had to go and be alone. But she had a few pieces of business to take care of first.

"S-S-Seamus, Neville, wanted you to know something," Luna said through tears.

"What?" Seamus asked.

"H-h-he wanted you to k-know that...h-he did end up snogging me. Before the end." Seamus looked like he was about to say something, but Luna cut him off. "And m-m-make sure you tell that to Harry, as well." a few more tears fell, and there was a bit of something you almost never got from Seamus: silence. And Luna dug through her bag, pulled out a book, and handed it to Seamus. "Here. I think Neville might've wanted you to read this." It was Neville's diary. Seamus took the book in his hands.

"Oh, I remember this old thing," Seamus said softly.

Luna nodded. "Please read it. But...return in back to me when you're done, alright?"

"Okay."

And without another word, Luna apparated out of the Leaky Cauldron, leaving the now depressed Seamus behind.

(Page Break)

She was in charge of the funeral. Neville didn't have any family members left, so the planning of the funeral immediately fell to Luna. Although she was honored, she didn't like that much. It was a lot of work, and she could barely think about it without crying. Luckily, she'd had two good friends swoop to the rescue: Ginny and Seamus had both offered to help plan.

Luna remembered the day she'd told the rest of them. It hadn't been a fun day. Ron and Ginny had insisted she come to visit them at the Burrow. She'd reluctantly come, knowing she'd have to face them sooner or later. She'd arrived, and saw that both Weasleys, along with Harry and Hermione were there waiting for her. She was bombarded with hugs and greetings, all of which meant nothing to her. They didn't even ask how she was, or tell her how they were. Ginny had immediately asked what was wrong. Not getting an answer out of her, they'd all sat down on the couches, and asked her again. After a deep breath, she braced herself and said, "Neville's dead."

After a moment of silence, all hell broke loose in the Burrow. Hermione immediately started sobbing, followed by tears by Harry and Ron, who tried to be manly and hide it, which wasn't really working, and then Ginny started sobbing, which made Luna cry too. Ginny held Luna in a hug, and they both cried.

Eventually George and Mrs. Weasley came down to see what all the fuss was about. When they learned Neville was dead, Mrs. Weasley shed tears, and George turned stiff and left the room.

The sobbing lasted longer than on Luna's run-in with Seamus, which Luna didn't tell them about. They didn't talk; though. After the sobs turned to sniffles, they all simply sat on the couches and took turns hugging Luna. They didn't need to speak to know she needed the most comforting. It seemed as if The Trio and Ginny already knew that Luna loved Neville. Luna wasn't willing to ponder it now.

Soon she bid goodbye to her friends and left the Burrow. She arrived at her home and laid in bed, doing nothing for the rest of the day.

Now she stood in Neville's house. She was forced to go through all his things. She had to choose what was to be buried with Neville, what was to be sold or given away, and what Luna chose to keep for herself. She felt it was wrong to give away all his things. It would be insulting. But Luna knew Neville would want his things to go to good use.

It was a memory trip to go through Neville's things. Each one brought back a memory to her, and even though they used to make her happy, they now brought her only pain.

In the end, Luna had gone through all the items. A few of Neville's more personal items were to be buried with him. Most all the furniture and some of the other things were going to be sold. But Luna had chosen a few things to keep for herself: a sweater vest of Neville's (it smelled of him, and reminded Luna of all the fun times they'd had together. And even more special; it was the same one he'd worn when they'd traveled to the Department of Mysteries with Harry), the photo album Luna had given him on his birthday, Luna's own pearl necklace (not exactly something belonging to Neville, but Luna had considered burying it with him, but then decided against it when she realized Neville would want her to wear it instead), and Neville's diary. Luna knew that the diary would have a permanent spot in her house, and would be read often. It held so much emotion, and was written in Neville's handwriting. Luna could barely put it down to focus on much else, most of the time. She didn't have it now, since Seamus was currently reading it. She wondered if Seamus felt as much emotion in those words as she did.

(Page Break)

Luna didn't want to go into that garden. She would break down if she did. No one could make her. The last place she wanted to be was to go into the garden, filled with people dressed in black...

It was the day of Neville's funeral, which was to take place in a very spacious, airy garden, filled with magical plants and such. It was a perfect place for Neville. But he was dead.

Luna was dressed in a black dress, which contrasted greatly with her platinum blonde hair. It was quite unusual to see Luna in black after she left Hogwarts.

Luna hung by the hedge wall, peeking in through the entrance. Everyone was expecting her to go in, but she didn't want to. No one could make her. She could just leave now. Apparate out and leave the scene.

"Luna? Why aren't you inside yet?"

Too late for second chances. Luna turned around to see Ginny, followed by Harry, then Ron and Hermione, who were hand-in-hand. Luna wished she and Neville could have been like that, even for just a little bit...

Just that little thought made Luna cry. She couldn't do it. She didn't have the mental stability. Soon, she found herself wrapped up in one of Ginny's hugs. She still cried, though, no matter how reassuring Ginny could be.

Soon Ginny drew away and it was another set of arms that incased her. Harry's. She still cried, even as she was passed from Harry to Ron to Hermione. Eventually, though, she stopped her tears, and Hermione let go.

Luna wiped her eyes and took a good look at all of them. Ginny and Hermione were wearing the most beautiful black dresses. Harry and Ron were both wearing black suits. Overall, it was perfect funeral attire.

"Luna, what's wrong?" Hermione asked.

Well, Luna knew the question meant other than all the normal things that were wrong with a funeral. "I...I can't do it, Hermione. I can't go in there. It's just too much. I'll break down."

Apparently Hermione didn't know what to say to that. But the next thing Luna heard was a voice behind her, speaking in that distinct Irish accent.

"Luna."

She turned around, and there he was. Seamus Finnigan. Dressed in as much black as the rest of them. Luna wondered why he stopped to speak to them rather than going straight into the funeral.

"Yes, Seamus?" Luna asked.

"I have something for you," Seamus said. He reached into one of his pockets and he pulled out the diary. He placed it in Luna's hands, and closed her fingers around the spine. Luna forced herself to look directly into his eyes.

"I understand now," he said. "Just exactly how much you meant to him, and how much he meant to you. I know what it must've been like for him. And I want you to know that I'll always be on your side, Luna. I'll always understand."

Knowing Seamus, Luna had some doubts at first. But looking into his eyes, Luna knew he was trustworthy. And despite all else, she threw herself into his arms, receiving quite a long hug. No, she did not love Seamus, not in the least. And he didn't love her. But she knew, that even if no one else understood, he would.

She could feel the eyes of the others staring at her. She didn't care. She had become used to it after all these years.

Eventually, she was forced to draw away from her Irish friend. He looked right at her.

"Luna, I know you can go in there," Seamus said. "You're strong enough and brave enough to go in there and keep yourself together. And Neville would have wanted you to. He believed in you. You have his love behind you. Trust me."

If it weren't for that last comment, Luna might not have believed it. But, despite all, Seamus was one worth trusting. So, holding the diary close to herself, she walked through the hole in the hedge wall, knowing that she had both Irish and Longbottom luck behind her.

**A/N: Alright, this is the END. The VERY, VERY end. I will not post another chapter AT ALL unless I get, like, 30 or more reviews before tomorrow night. But please don't make quota. I want to be done. Although, you people are a demanding crowd.**


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